The Recital of Terrance Reed

Chapter Two

I gritted my teeth as l felt he was just there to use me. I wondered to myself if he was so caring about coming over to my house. Then he would want to be nice enough to sit close to me. But instead, I could not believe he just got up and left. I needed him to give me information on what time and when he would show up. Or even if he was going to walk with me. And, Of course, I let this happen. Again.

Ms. Hawthorne started talking to the class. I kept my eyes focused on Kyle. Trying to read his ordeal, but nothing came up. It was just pure blankness that came to my mind. I wanted to throw a pencil at his stupid but cute face. Damn, these stupid feelings for him.

I quickly pulled out The Glass Castle and opened it, then shoved my face into the book's pages. I side-eyed Kyle and noticed he had taken out his book. I carefully lifted my head, shocked that he was reading the book. From here, he was only ten pages in. Nonetheless, maybe he wanted to help himself with his grades. It made me happy enough to forget his stupid arrogance. Kyle looked up and then at me. He had caught me staring because he started smiling. I panicked and buried my face into the pages again.

As the class went on, the more I dozed off. I stared out into the distance of the schoolyard and admired the changing seasons from fall to winter. I started thinking about why I was Wallflower. I had friends when I was smaller but never kept them long enough. I had only one friend that I had for a year, and her name was Millie.

• • •

It was around fourth grade when I lived in Calgary, Alberta. When I was beginning to become a wallflower and staying in my bubble. Millie was new to the school, and I was assigned her welcome train buddy. At first, we were both awkward. But then, when she mentioned she loved reading books. Our friendship grew like a scallion. Soon after a couple of weeks, Millie and I were untouchable, always causing mischief and mayhem within the halls and classrooms. She could bring out the parts of me that I never knew I had. At some point, the teachers believed that our friendship was a problem. They started separating us when we had class assignments so we "would work in silence." But we always found a way to make mischief from across the room. Millie was that friend whom I could trust and feel myself around her.

Unfortunately, nearing the end of grade seven. Millie had disappeared. Completely. No goodbyes or even visitation to explain the situation. At first, I thought she had died or gone missing. But when I went to her house, everything was gone or abandoned. It was like nothing was there in the first place. I grew depressed from her absence. I have missed her every day since she left. People always talked about her as if they knew her. Saying they were glad she was gone or how there was rumour of her passing instead of clearing the stories. I let the buzz run through my classmates' curious, ignorant minds.

It could be one of the reasons why I preferred to stay alone, without friends because they would pull a Millie. I was afraid of that happening to anyone whom I made friends with. And to this day, I do not know where she is or if she is even alive.

Ms. Hawthorne had smacked the base of my desk with her ruler. It made me squeal and jump out of my seat. "Mr. Reed. Why are you not paying attention?"

I rubbed my chest as my heart pulsated. "Oh, sorry..." I felt my face flush, and I could hear the snickering of other students.

"We are finally on part two," Ms. Hawthorne informed me, pointing the yellow ruler in my face. "It is a crucial chapter to pay attention to. No diddling in space!"

I nodded. "Of course." I slowly sat back down in my seat and opened my book.

For the rest of the class, I remained quiet, to myself, and did not focus my attention on anyone. Not even Kyle. But for some reason, I could feel his gaze on me-his beautiful eyes.