Can't Ask, Don't Need, Won't Acknowledge

Chapter 45: Luminous Introspection

“Then maybe you don’t really need to know,” replied Natasha knowingly. Wanda sighed in response, “I’m sorry I swore at you….”

“I know you are Malyshka, but I’m starting to lose my patience with your attitude and bad temper though. Next time we won’t be having a nice chat,” Natasha finished her statement off with a knowing raise of her eyebrow and a pointed glare. “I’m trying to treat you more like the young adult you are but you are making it quite difficult.”

Wanda’s head dropped at the reprimand, as she felt the red rise to her cheeks as she blushed in shame. Natasha quickly placed a gentle hand under her kid’s chin and tilted it back up to look at her. “Don’t get stuck in your head Wanda, now is not the time to be quiet and clam up. You had no problem running your mouth to Bucky earlier,” Natasha finished the statement with a playful lilt, hoping to snap the teenager out of her malaise.

“I guess I was just excited to be included,” murmured Wanda. Natasha sighed and pulled the girl’s head towards her body and rested her chin on the crown of Wanda’s head.

“That’s partially my fault, but from now on. You mustn’t speak to anyone about it. Only me.”

“Even Dad? or Bucky? or Yelena?”

“None,” replied Natasha firmly. “The walls have ears Wanda. This is a dangerous mission. I need you to understand this isn’t one of those missions where if you mess up you get captured and then we all ride in on a white horse to rescue you. These people execute. They don’t take prisoners. You have to follow my every order.” Wanda’s arm was starting to throb slightly from the tight grip Natasha had on her arm, and for the first time Wanda truly saw into Natasha’s eyes. The usually guarded woman was barely containing the fear. Wanda stared in wonderment at the older woman.

“I’ll listen Mama,” stated Wanda simply choosing to not comment and make Natasha uncomfortable. She just snuggled into the older woman and took a deep breath against the skin of Natasha’s neck. The faint scent of her perfume tickled her throat in a comforting way.

“Will you still hold me like this when I’m older?” asked Wanda.

Natasha just laughed, “I will always hold you like this. You have wormed your way in Wanda.”
Wanda just giggled in response, “You make me sound like a parasite.”

“All children are parasites,” replied Natasha knowingly. Wanda gave her an aggrieved look.

“Hey….”

Natasha placed another kiss to the teenager’s head, “now you need to get into bed.”

Wanda sighed but started to crawl out of her mother’s arms, and wasn’t surprised when she was hurried on her way by two gentle pats to her backside.

Natasha slowly walked down the hallway back towards her room. Her thoughts were still bothering her and she knew sleep would not come easy for her this evening. She didn’t think it would be possible to get so attached to another human being. Natasha was compromised in a way she struggled to comprehend. As she approached the closed door of her room, she knew she wasn’t ready. Natasha breezed past it and opened the end door and let the night air hit her as she walked onto the balcony. It was cool and refreshing on her skin, as she opened her eyes wider to take in the slight glitter of the stone walls in the moonlight. Natasha kicked her slippers off and walked barefoot across the floor.