And then you became my obsession

like an elephant in a china store

*Sebastian*

"Where were you?" asked Casandra as I came back to the track, walking just behind Luisa.

She wrapped her arms around my body. I didn't answer, but followed Luisa with my gaze. I hated that she immediately went back to Theo. Whereby she probably rather went to him, because Benno was with him. And the look on my son's face at that moment really spoke volumes.

He had pure relief written all over his face when he could see her. His hand immediately reached for hers. She crouched down in front of him and talked to him while he just looked at her.

He loved her.

The way he looked at her, it was completely obvious. It brought back to my mind the night she had fallen down the stairs. How my son had sat next to her and refused to let her go.

He loved her.

And Evi also ran over to her and wrapped her arms around Luisa's body and leaned her head against her shoulder.

Luisa's attention belonged entirely to my children. She didn't let anything distract her, and I realized once again that she was much better at it than I was. And it definitely shouldn't have been that way. But I had always put my children in the back seat. And they were now showing me quite clearly that I had long since ceased to be number one in their lives, because Benno was still hitting it off with Theo, then he got into his kart without having spoken a single word to me before the race.

It was my fault and still it hurt.

I released Casandra's arm from me and went to Luisa, who was holding Evi tightly by the hand "Am I disturbing him if I wish him good luck for a moment?".

She turned her head and just as I had just had a complete change of emotion, I could perceive a complete change of emotion in her face. From still angry to compassionate.

"He's your son. You never bother him. But make it quick. He has to leave in a minute," she said. Her voice all soft.

I nodded and squatted down next to my son, who already had his helmet on.

"Are you nervous?", I asked, he shook his head.

"Luisa says I don't have to be nervous. She said I'm doing good and that it's not bad if I don't win. I'm supposed to have fun.", he looked at me "And she said that I should just show you how good I am at karting already. And that you'll always be proud of me.".

I put my hand on his shoulder "I AM always proud of you.", I assured him.

How on earth did Luisa manage to hate me and talk about me like that in front of my children?

I mean, sometimes even former partners didn't manage to do that and she managed to do it even though I was always shitty to her.

"I hate to interrupt you guys...", Theo continued "But Benno, you have to go to the start now, for qualifying.", he said calmly.

"You're going to do great.", I chimed in with my son, then he smiled, flipped down the visor of his helmet and took off. My heart exploded with pride.

"He's doing really well.", Theo's voice sounded calm "You have a great son.".

I lifted my head and looked at him properly for the first time, because every time I had looked at him, I had only ever seen the competitor in him. A threat.

That he might actually be a really good guy, I hadn't even considered.

To me, he was the bad guy.

Because he had her. In a way that I might never have her. Because even though she had slept with me (whether she had also slept with him I could neither say for sure nor rule out), she seemed much closer to him. It was a very different look she gave him.