And then you became my obsession

nighttime visit

*Luisa*

I cleared the breakfast table again and tried to save my comments on Sebastian's mood.

He was pissed and I realized I was a big culprit. But I wasn't his toy to use at his whim. I wouldn't let him play with me anymore, even though I had seen how much he had wanted to. If I had let him, we probably would have done it right there in the garage.

And shit, I had wanted to sleep with him again, but I had said it last night and I would say it again and again. I was steady enough to go through with this. Gina was absolutely right about that. My only choice was to self-determine or maybe get hurt.

So I chose self-determination.

I had never gotten involved with anyone as quickly as I did with Sebastian, and I had no intention of ever letting that happen again. It had been a stupid idea from the beginning. But now I was back in the driver's seat and he hated it.

Good thing. Should he hate it. Let him hate me.

What did I have to lose? Other than the kids, of course. It would break my heart if he kicked me out, because I loved the kids, just like they loved me. Separating from them would definitely be hard for me. But if he thought that would get him what he wanted, he was wrong. He didn't own me.

Even though it had kind of turned me on when he had said it.

Because somehow this sentence had also suggested security to me. Security that he had not offered me. I had had to take care of it myself.

So what did I need him for?

"Benno! Stop talking like that!" snapped Sebastian.

"All I said was that..."

"I don't want to hear something like that.".

"I hate you!" roared Benno, running upstairs from the kitchen to his room. I heard the door slam.

"Fuck!", Sebastian swept his coffee cup off the table in anger.

Evi started to cry.

"Enough!", I said sternly while throwing him a rag "Don't take your anger out on the kids!", I looked at Evi with a warm smile "Sweetie, why don't you go upstairs, pick out something to wear to the amusement park, huh? I need to talk to your dad alone for a minute."

"Are you two fighting now?" she asked.

"Yes. Pretty sure we are. But adults do that sometimes and it's okay to argue if you make up afterwards.".

She nodded and looked to her father with a slightly fearful look before walking past me and upstairs.

I waited until I heard her room door close as well, then turned back to Sebastian.

"Who do you think you are in this house, anyway?" he asked.

"I'm the one who cares about your kids! The one who understands them!"

"Oh, and you think I don't?"

"No! Otherwise you wouldn't talk to Benno like that! He's totally disappointed that you weren't there yesterday. And today you suddenly show up? Do you think he's stupid? Of course he knows you forgot about him!"

"Did you tell him that?"

"No. But your son is smart and could probably figure it out! He got his first win yesterday. Do you remember how that made you feel? And do you remember who was there?"

"Of course I do..."

"You see? And when he looks back on this day someday, he'll think of Theo and me and his father..."