Life ain't even grey

Chapter 5: Chemistry

Finn swallowed and resolved to stay focussed on the script. That is, until they came to the scene of Mike and Eleven first time. His eyes found the scene of Mike knocking on El's door at the bottom of the page. His stomach twisted in anticipation and he flipped the page as they read, "He loved her," he looked across the table to catch her already looking at him. She blinked when he looked up and her gaze darted to the side, panic written all over her face. Finn pursed his lips against an amused smile, "and she loved him," the edge of her lips twitched before she met his gaze, rather decidedly in his opinion.

Some cast members hooted and cheered as Matt read the part of Mike entering El's room and the door closing. Finn tore his gaze from hers to look at Caleb and Gaten, both of whom were cheering. He chuckled at them before he looked down to the script.

"Mike and El, making love," The Duffers grinned and looked to the respective actors. The casts burst into loud hoots and cheers, "Mike is on top," Caleb laughed and slapped his shoulder heavily. His face warmed and he glanced across the table to see that her cheeks were pink and growing increasingly red.

"Man, are you sure you're acting this season?" Caleb asked, grinning.

"Shut up", Finn shot back, but Caleb and Gaten only laughed, nodding in agreement. Glancing up, Finn glimpsed her small smile but she was looking down at the script too intently.

Towards the ending of the script, she opens her mouth but only tears come - the tears she has held at bay until now, because people were watching, and she still has hope.

She had always been very emotional.

Across the table, Millie has tears welled up in her eyes that she had refused to let fall. Finn noticed them welling up when they were reading the ending scene. It was really goodbye to the series, the people that made him and her part of what they were today. An era. Half of their lives. A family. A Home.

He wished he was sitting beside her. He wanted to comfort her. He wasn't sure if he would, if he could, hold her hand but he wanted to.

Finn's eyes found their way to her. She was following the words as The Duffer Brothers read the scene of their proposal. "Mike and Eleven have truly never seen anyone else besides them, each other's person, soulmates. Their beauty, their strength, their connection, it makes them feel...they all push them to the realization that because they love each other they want to spend forever with each other, in love, and finally take the happiness that they both deserved and longed for, only next to each other, as it always was meant to be".

Finn felt his heart beat so fast he was scared the cast heard it.

He couldn't stop looking at her.

This was too personal.

He adored it.

Finn saw her lips tremble, saw her smile, saw her then hesitate, her chin tilting up but her eyes did not rise to meet his. Instead, she hastily turned the page prematurely, as if to busy herself. She does not look up across the table.

For one terrifying moment, Finn remembers the phone conversation when he found out she was was going to announce that she was engaged.

She called him. Told him about how they made her do this, how she didn't want to. Her father. She was trying, checking, to get a read from him and he wasn't biting. He was shocked. Shut down emotionally. Devastated. Heartbroken. He remembers how she cried on the phone, and he had ended up crying too. Hearing her voice was a torture. She asked him to forgive her and he asked her if she still loved him. They ended up having a whole thing about that.

He comes back to the present and thinks if maybe she's thinking of that.
He sees her swallowing, her hands wiping her tears of emotion. He sees her smile at the script.

Them, she raises her eyes and looks at him with a smile, so tender that he wants to cry and reach for her and holds her in his arms. He misses her so much, like air. He needs her in his arms, close to him, heart to heart. To heal him and be whole and truly happy.

He returns her smile and for one second the world makes sense again. The connection, the intimacy, the fireworks they have always had appears in the room strong and bright.

Finn sees Noah looking at Millie then at him, and a smile appears on his too, as if he knew what was going on in their minds.

The cast have always been very known of their shared feelings and history. They saw it and teased them and suffered at their downfall the past year.

Finn knew the cast, except Noah, have distanced themselves from Millie, disappointed at the events that happened with her and her management, Jake... No one supported fake shit.

He felt so warm and dizzy at Mike and Eleven scenes. He would be improvising so much with this, he was sure of it. He knew he couldn't help it. It came natural. Finn loved Millie, and being close to her in the Mileven scenes will come natural and honest.

When he saw her in front of him, the images of their past, their intimate nights, their heated mornings, those crazy stolen moments when they lated naked, both physically and emotionally to each other. Those have been torturing him for the longest times.

He could not deny he was depressed. He had admitted that to Jessie. He felt anxious and depressed and it has been like that since past year. He thought Millie would come back to him, he wanted that. But things got in the way and for one reason or another, they ended up being apart from each other and more distant that ever, watching their sad eyes in interviews.

Their crazy night of the concert when they had slept together, having a passionate and desesperate night. Almost the next morning, the announcement of that engagement broke free, like a cover up.

And Finn knew as The Duffers read about Mike and Eleven finding happiness in love with each other, that he wanted that with Millie too. But life was not a fairytale. The world was not easy.

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