Lost and Found

Losing Worries

"Ok, so what's the problem?" Mum asks, "you decided on who you like more, so what's the matter?"  

"I'm pretty sure Seth likes me, but I haven't found a way to tell him about Asher, because I haven't talked about Asher with him. And with Asher, I haven't mentioned that I've been meeting up with Seth at the coffee shop, even though I'm pretty sure he counts it as a date. But I don't, and I just don't know how to bring it up to either of them."

"Sounds like a pickle you've got yourself into there, but there's nothing we can't fix... I mean, surely Asher would understand that you're just friends with Seth? I mean, the way you described him sounds as though he's very understanding and wouldn't mind you hanging out with someone else."

"Yeah I guess so... I guess I'm just afraid of the fact that I've been hiding I've been meeting with Seth. I don't know, it just sounds a little weird... and I don't know if he'd read too much into it."

"Well tell him now before it turns into something worse. I'm positive if he's what you've described to me, he'll understand that you just didn't want to hurt his feelings or get the wrong idea."

"Yeah, I guess you're right..." 

"Is Asher the one that got you that beautiful necklace?" Mum asks me, tipping her mug of hot chocolate towards me slightly and raising her eyebrows while smiling. 

I blush and reach up to touch the necklace. "Maybe... it's kind of a reminder of the time we've spent together. Look..." I open the necklace and show her the pictures inside.

"Wow you certainly do look happy with him, Miyah," she says and scoots closer to me to get a better look. "Happier than I've seen you in a while. I'm glad Springhill is making you this happy, I really am."

"It's all because of you, Mum. You pushed me, and I would never have gone without that. Thank you."

I give her a huge smile, and she replies, "Don't worry, Miyah, everything will be fine. I know you're smart enough to know what to do with your little situation, I have no doubts at all." She gives me another smile before turning on the TV and shuffling down deeper into the blanket that's wrapped around her.

                                                                                           *

The lead-up to Christmas is always my favourite. I love the traditions that our family has created over years. However, I'm dreading them this year because Dad isn't here to enjoy them with us. I know it won't be as bad as last year, though. Dad died in January from terminal cancer, and because of that, we were more or less waiting around for the day that we had to say goodbye. Even though we tried to make it as normal as possible, we were all just devastated by what we knew was coming.

I can tell Mum doesn't want to talk about him while I'm back, so I don't push the subject or mention anything related to him. We'll talk about him at some point; I just know she's too delicate right now. 

Mum waited until I came home to get the Christmas tree and decorate the house because she knows this is one of my favourite traditions. We have garlands with lights to go across the mantlepiece, mulled wine-scented candles, and little china gingerbread men to go in the fireplace, as well as wreaths and garlands for the walls and doors, and much more. 

We busy our days also with baking. Mum has this sugar cookie recipe that she used to make with my grandma when she was little, which I still love to do even though I'm eighteen. Additionally, make peanut brittle, tiffin, chocolate fudge, peppermint bark and mince pies. It might seem a bit overboard, but the fact that we can do this, talk, and joke around each other while doing it makes it worth every minute.  

The week passes so quickly, and before I know it, it's Christmas Eve. We've spent the day wrapping presents, watching Christmas movies, and end the evening by drinking mulled wine setting the table for Christmas breakfast.

                                                                                                *

"Merry Christmas, Miyah," Mum comes into my room early Christmas morning and scoots into my bed next to me.

I open my eyes and sit up against the pillows."Merry Christmas Mum," I smile and give her a long hug. She's brought my stocking into my room with her, and watches me as I look at all the bits and pieces inside.

I managed to get her a few bits and pieces for her stocking. Mum and Dad used to do stockings for each other, but I decided I could easily take over the job, which she greatly appreciated. As I predicted, she got a little choked up, and we allowed ourselves a few minutes to cry, cuddled up on the bed. 

After an amazing Christmas breakfast consisting of scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, and croissants, we get ready for the day. We wear our matching Christmas jumpers that we got a couple of years ago. I pair mine with some white corduroy trousers and some fuzzy socks. We take it in turns to open our presents by the tree. I managed to get mum a limited edition of her favourite book from the book shop back at Springhill, some toiletries, and some clothes. She got me some new jewellery, clothes, a couple of photo albums, some new stationary, headphones, and very lovingly surprised me with an iPad so I could write, draw and do school work which would replace my janky old second-hand laptop. 

Apart from having our Christmas dinner and attempting to walk off some of the food around the streets, our day mostly consists of movies, with the sofa is our best friend. This is the case until around eight in the evening when my phone starts to buzz, and I see Asher's name pop up on the screen. I sit up hurriedly and answer the call.

"Merry Christmas!" Asher, Saffi and Nick shout from the other end. 

I settle back on the sofa and smile at them, "Merry Christmas you guys! Aww I miss you lot, have you had a good day?"

"Yeah it's been great, lots of food, Nick's put himself into a food coma. Would've been better if you were here though, we miss you too" Asher replies. 

"Yeah we miss you Miyah," Saffi agrees, "how's your Christmas Day been?"

"Yeah, really nice, thank you. Haven't done a whole lot but we've been happy and relaxed." We talk for a while, and I introduce them to Mum, who surprisingly seems to have a lot more to say than I do, especially to Asher. Eventually, however, everyone seems to drift off-screen, and I am left alone, face to face with Asher. 

We chat for a while about our days and the days leading up to Christmas, we had been texting before, but this is the first time I've talked to him face to face since I said goodbye at Springhill.

"I get to see you again in a week and a bit" he says quietly 

"You've really missed me that much huh?"

"Of course. I've been given a load of books for Christmas and it feels wrong to read them without you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Reading in bed with Nick snoring beside me is not the same as in the library with you, believe me."