his girls (Charles Leclerc)

one

Menacing clouds loomed above me, swirling as they conjured up a mighty storm. Storm cloud grey has always been my favourite; if I could reach up and snatch a handful of the feathery cosmic swirls, I would turn it into silk and wear it forever.

Thunder began - the drums of heaven, beating in the sky and striking the earth in vigorous flashes of light. Harsh rained began to pour and slapped my face as it fell from above;  the skies were laced with the strength of Poseidon, a strength so beautiful yet so incredibly petrifying, "Juliette?"

I whipped my head around, strands of my dirty blonde hair that encased my face flying with my turn, it was the one person I didn't want to talk to "Charles?"

The winds blew and blew as time stood still as the bleak clouds shrouded the city of Monaco in a blanket of despair, he walked closer "I didn't know you were home, when did you get back?"

home.

My skin begins to redden as the air swipes at my cheeks, "This morning, I would've called- I'm sorry I've just been wandering around, kinda easy to get lost in Monaco," I shrugged my shoulders "Don't think I'll be staying here long."

He shrugged his shoulders, his hair turning messy as he sighed, "You- you don't have to call if you don't want too, you know that. God, how long has it been?"

Despite the weather, his face was bright and delicate, mirrored to the sun as we remembered, "Five years in February," I let out a shaky breathe "been a long time."

"Yeah, it has," he paused looking down at the floor, seeing me here was too much for him "So how have you been?"

Awkwardly shrugging, "After a while, the hurt hurts less," I was being truthful but despite it hurting less it still felt like a knife to my heart "it's nice to be here though, it reminds me of him."

I think the hardest part of losing someone you love isn't having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void, the emptiness that's left inside your heart when theirs stops beating.

He nodded, his eyes in mine, the not so familiar green connecting so deep within my soul "I know, I miss him everyday," he thought for a moment "I had dinner with his family last night, you know I'm sure they'd love to speak with you, now you're here."

I nodded, he was two steps ahead of me already "Yeah, I'm planning too." I awkwardly nodded, my hands swaying at my sides, unsure what to do with myself.

He looked up towards the sky, the wind blustering "I'm sorry I'm running late for a thing, but please remember you can call me, always."

I gave him a small little smile, my vision blurred as I took a deep breathe in to steady my emotions, but to no avail I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks "Always, don't let me keep you here."

I was embarrassed, crying in front of others always left me feeling so exposed, I kept my gaze low, "Hey?" he says urgently, cupping my chin "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, don't worry," I mumbled, closing my eyes as if I would just disappear, like I'd turn invisible.

"You're lying." His grip stays firm on my chin as he sweeps his thumbs from underneath my eyes, the closeness between us overwhelming me "Why are you crying?"

"I'm not crying."

Sympathy filled his voice, "It's okay Juliette, look there is something beautiful waiting for you; remember that? I know this is where you first met-

As a strangled sob tears out of my mouth, I bury my face in my hands, trembling widely as tears continued to fall "Hey, come on, don't cry," he begs "It breaks my fucking heart to see you cry."

I wiped my face, the tears disguising themselves as rain drops, the endless amount of drops falling from the sky "No, I'm okay, I'm really sorry please just go."

Grief, after the initial shock of loss, it comes in waves... when you're washing the dishes, while you're getting ready for work; When you're driving alone in the car.. all of a sudden it hits you how much you miss someone, and your breathe catches, and your tears flow, and the sadness is so great that it's physically painful.

He let out a breathe he'd been holding in , "Let me take you home, I don't think you should be driving like this."

I shook my head quickly, my body beginning to numb of coldness  "You have somewhere to be, go already."

"Juliette it's raining and your upset-

I held my hand out "Charles, I haven't let anyone drive me since he died and I'm damn well not starting today so please go, I've kept you wallowing with me, please go."

He couldn't just listen to me, "Promise to call me tomorrow? I think talking is important."

I gave him a little nod "Promise."

I turned my back around before he could say anything else and hurriedly rushed back into my car, shutting my eyes to think of the thousand moments that I'd taken for granted - mostly because I assumed there would be a thousand more.

A thousand more days where we could've walked along the streets of Monaco, that's what I dream of at night, I started my car and began the slow drive home, to my real home.

Safety is something that should be kept in mind all the time, it's something I constantly overthink since the accident, the list of rules in my head that keep me company as I drive and as I live.

1. Stay alert

2. Avoid assumption

3. Use turn signals

4. Buckle up

5. Follow traffic light signals

6. Respect yellow lights

7. Come to a complete stop

8. Never text and drive

9. Obey speed limits - at all times.

10. Don't allow anyone else to drive you, ever.

If only he'd followed just some of the rules.