Death or Paradise: Behind the Scenes

spent seasons on the dark side of the moon

New York - 2000

It had taken you a long time to find this place. Natasha Romanoff was not an easy person to find, and it was slightly irritating to you how hard you had to work each time you'd looked for her. But she was good. She was careful. Probably from years of conditioning and looking over her shoulder.

You knocked on her apartment door, waiting patiently for the newly minted S.H.I.E.L.D. agent to open the door. When she did, she only looked surprised to see you for a moment. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised you found me. It seems to be your specialty," she stepped aside to let you in. "What are you doing here?"

You stepped into her apartment, looking around. You noticed it didn't seem like a home. It looked more like a place to leave. You assumed it was her upbringing that had influenced this. You had done your research and you knew she was used to leaving at a moment's notice. But you were going to help her with that. That was why you had come.

You turned to look at her. "I'm here to help you," you said.

"With what? I'm not on any missions at the moment," she said, confused.

"Good, then they won't mind if you take a trip with me," you grinned at her.

"A trip where?" she asked slowly.

"How would you like to clear some red from your ledger?"

She tensed. "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember 1994, there was a man you were sent to help retrieve information," you said.

"How do you know about that?"

"I know a lot of things," you shrugged. "Like for example, I know he is currently in the business of selling young girls to seedy establishments. I figured we could go put an end to his business."

She eyed you suspiciously. "And why did you come to me with this? I think someone of your talents would be able to take him out quickly."

"I could," you said, not adding that you couldn't really because you couldn't actually kill a human being, no matter how disgusting this particular piece of trash was. "But then, it wouldn't help you."

"Why would that help me?"

You could tell she was on the defensive. She didn't trust you. Hell, she barely knew you. You hadn't seen her again after helping her and Barton out of the train station in Budapest. But you hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since then. Because you understood her. You knew what it felt like to live with the guilt of your actions, what it felt like to feel like you'd never be able to clean the red from your ledger. You had seen it in her mind when you first met her. For you, it was the fact that your mission had been a lie, and that you had inadvertently helped the human race along to their demise. For her, it was the atrocities she had had to commit for the Red Room.

"I think we're both running from our pasts," you told her. "The red in our ledgers is miles long. I will never be free of mine, but I think I can help you be free of yours. And I think that will be enough for me."

She regarded you for a moment longer before nodding. "Okay, when do we leave?"

"I'm assuming you have a go bag?"

"Of course."

"Then now."

——

Belarus - 2000

It had taken you a day to infiltrate the place. It helped that you were able to read the humans' minds. You hated the darkness in their minds. They were especially vile. But it came in handy now. You knew exactly where to look.