Linked Souls

4) To Scratch

Change isn't a thing that many humans like, Most people are intimidated by it, It's only done by those who are forced to do so.  Whoever finds the current situation uncomfortable.
When you find that the place isn't your place anymore, the feeling is not your feeling, the things around you are no longer like you, and when you find that your dreams will remain dreams, just don't hesitate and leave, and enter into the thorns of difficult change so that you won't live forever humiliated or marginalized.

Yes, I loved Leia more than my soul, But when I felt that she never considered my feelings, I started to change. I minimized my interests and started conversations less with her, but the one who was in pain in this situation was me .. as usual ..
She had alternatives, she had family, friends ... and Adrian, that bastard Adrian.

She still sits next to me at school like we used to from the first day we met, but the situation was beyond my description.
She was right next to me but it felt like she was on the other side of the Earth, She rarely looked at me, and I rarely looked at her.  My words rarely meet her words.

I wouldn't say we are back strangers, I still love her, but I love my dignity more, What hurts me the most is that she noticed how little we talked, but she didn't take any action about it, didn't even try to understand why I'm mad. If the verse is reversed, If she were in my place, I wouldn't let one eye fell asleep nor blink, except before I reconciled her.
But in that world with imbalanced balance, where you will not be reciprocated, "Fear the evil of those you have done well to." Is an old wisdom.

When I reply to her status on social media, she replies late, even though I saw her online.  And when she reply, her responses are cold, frozen, and solid, Doesn't open any chatting doors, and devoid of interest.  responses similar to "oh lol", "yeah, I know", "cool" and "nice".

The days were passing by as if they were passing on my face, a piece was missing from me every night and day.
When I met her on the second day, in the school hallway.

"Don't you feel like we've talked less since your birthday?" I asked.

"Yeah kind of" she said

my mind was saying "Kind if ?, We weren't like this, Leia, we talked day and night, before going to bed and early in the morning after waking up, where are we from that now…".

"Why didn't you ask me about why we don't talk like before?".

She was silent for a while, then she said "I thought that if you want something, you will tell me. If you want to talk to me, you will talk, and if you don't, you won't."

What are these responses, Leia?  This means that we mean nothing to you, It doesn't matter if we speak or not, as if you forgot our past together, but I told her "okay Leia, okay cool", and walked away.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

5th of May, my birthday,
I waited for a text message from Leia, but she didn't send anything, at school she never told me happy birthday as well, In one of the classes, she left her phone and went to the bathroom.  I tried to stop myself from thinking what I was thinking.  But I quickly extended my hand to her phone and tried to guess the password, her password was her date of birth but flipped though, from right to left, I know how she thinks well.
Found Adrian is the first chat, How unexpected this is, duh.
She talks to him day and night, always laugh with him.

I texted him, "Adrian, I don't want to chat with you. Please don't talk to me again."
Then I blocked him.
This was my birthday present.

She came back from the bathroom and sat down, but of course she would find out later what I just did.

When she figured out after the end of the school day, she sent me a thousand messages and message, she was more saddened by the separation of this despicable person than by our separation.

I did not reply to her because I felt that replying to her via text was not sufficient, I want to meet her face to face, I want to be sure of something

I felt like I had returned to nothingness, my life was nothing but Leia, and now she has changed, I couldn't sleep at night because of thinking too much. So I got up from my bed at ten at night and knocked on Leia's door, Her mother opened the door to me, she was a beautiful woman with hazel eyes and brown hair.  If you see a good product, be sure the factory is more beautiful.

"Is Leia here?"I asked while rubbing my hands together from the coldness, she let me in, then made me tea and called Leia, I don't like tea, but I didn't want to embarrass this cute lady, minutes later Leia came with her hair tied and wearing a burgundy top and black short, she was pretty but I was mad at her.

When she walked in she yelled with anger "How dare you.  How dare you unlock my phone without my permission and do what you did, You ruined our relationship. "

"You ruined our relationship as well, you ruined my life." I yelled as if I was a raging volcano, I was silent for a long time, but I can't anymore.

"What are you talking about, We still friends" she said.

"Oh really? Do you think I'm just a FRIEND? "

"That's not what I meant but..."

" There's no but, Do you know what today is? It's my birthday, the day I hated so much cause I came into life in it. and now I hate it even more and all thanks to you.
Friends? We aren't friends. I loved you from the bottom of my heart, Leia, I trusted you and thought you were different from the rest.
Why do you think I was reassuring your heart when my heart was trembling with fear?  because we are friends?
Why do you think I was eating your chocolate cakes when it tasted awful just because you made it, because we are friends? Why do you think I always hear you talking about dragons when I hate dragons because they're just boring mythical creatures? because we are just friends?
Why do you think I wake up every morning all I think about is you and how can I make you happy? friends?
After these years of torment in the fire of your love, this is how you treat me? All this because of this asshole Adrian?
What did he give you from his life?, A silly drawing that doesn't even look like you. "

She was standing looking at me with signs of astonishment and shock.

"Can you sit down?" I said

"Wh... What?" She wondered

"I just want you to sit down.", After she sat down, I completed my words, saying "After what you did to me, I don't want to live. I will kill my soul until I rest and you will rest from me forever. Maybe I jump from a high building .. or put a knife in my chest............... Look at your legs, Leia, they aren't shaking at all"

She looked at them and noded.

" I will never kill myself, I just said that to make sure of something, you won't care If I die, just like the others."

Her face was red and her tongue was held, I left her and went home, I didn't see the way from my many tears. But I arrived.