The Bear Trap

Iced coffee, black

You wake up before your alarm goes off, rubbing the sleep from your eyes in confusion. You turn to look at your alarm clock and it reads 6:00am.

What the fuck? I don't need to be at work for another three hours.

You start to remember your conversation with Carmen last night, slowly recalling how he'd asked you to come in early.

Christ, y/n he meant a few minutes not three hours.

Regardless, you decide to get up anyway, you had a spare key to The Beef and you could get a head start on the day. As you get into your shower you start to think about last nights dinner service. It went well, but you can't help but nitpick every tiny mistake you'd made, going over the million ways you could've done better.

Everyone knows that Carmen is a perfectionist, but compared to you he seems lazy, relaxed. Your obsession with your work has led you to dark places before, and it took everything in you to keep away from slipping into those places again. You turn off the shower and step out, when you hear your phone buzz, a text message flashes across the screen.

Berzatto 🔪: Iced coffee black, right?

You: Huh?

Berzatto 🔪: That's how you take your coffee right?

You: Yeah. What are you doing buying coffee at 6:30 am?

Berzatto 🔪: Hey when I say early I mean early. I'll see you at The Beef soon right?

You: Yes, chef.

You watch as his three text bubbles appear and quickly disappear. You finally step all the way out of the shower and get dressed, then dry your hair, grab your keys and wallet and head out to your train.

The walk from your stop to The Beef isn't a long one but it's filled with internal monologue.

He bought me a coffee? And he expected me to show up this early? I mean, it's not that long of a story.. unless he has something else he wants to talk to me about?? No, y/n don't be stupid. Did he try to kiss me last night? Is that what would have happened if Richie hadn't walked out? I can't believe he remembers how I take my coffee..

This is the final thought that crosses through your mind as you approach the entrance to The Beef. As you slide the key into the lock you see Carmen leaning against the counter, back turned to the front of house, coffee in hand. You stop for a moment to admire his messy hair, his broad shoulders, the way his finger wrap around his coffee cup. As you enter the bell on the door dings and it brings Carmen to attention, spinning around in his spot to face you.

"Good morning, y/n."

You're surprised at his lack of formality, you're always "Chef" in the kitchen.

"Morning Berzatto" You reach the counter and sit on top of it, grabbing your coffee from next to his.

"That is definitely a health violation, chef."

"It's 7am, I will violate any health code I want until it becomes normal human hours."

Carmen laughs at this, he knows you're not a morning person. You swing your legs over the counter so you're facing him.

"I had them add a shot in there, consider it an apology for asking you to come in so early."

"A shot of vodka I hope."

"Espresso, you minx."

You blush slightly at the pet name, Carmen's never been one for nicknames, but you like this one.

"So let's hear it, your restaurant burnt down, you sold it to the bank, now what?"

"Wish I could say I knew. I'm not ready to run a kitchen on my own just yet, I can tell you that much."

"Why not? You seemed pretty on top of it last night." Carmen leans closer against the counter as he says this.

"I'm sure I could do it, just not so sure I should. The fire.. I didn't handle it well I guess."

"I can't imagine you handled it that poorly, I mean there's nothing to do in a fire, you evacuate and pray."

When Carmen says this you realise that maybe you can't tell him the truth about the fire. He says it so simply, like it's what any smart chef would have done, like it's what any smart person would have done.

"Yeah, but I didn't."

"Not the praying type, huh?"

"Evacuate... I didn't evacuate."

"What do you mean you didn't evacuate?? You stayed in a burning building?"

You look down at the floor embarrassed, there's no way Carmen doesn't fire you if you admit this.

"I told my chefs to stay put, to keep cooking. Sent my sous for the fire extinguisher, sent dishes out to customers, I thought I could handle it on my own. Kitchen fires happen all the time, you know. I didn't want to alarm the customers, I didn't want to stick a wedge in our flow. I just thought that if we all kept cooking it would be alright."

"Jesus, y/n... that's"

You interrupt him before he can finish the thought.

"They didn't listen to me, and it's the only reason everyone made it out alive. I've got a nasty scar on my shoulder, my whites caught fire before the FDNY fished me out."

He laughs and you're shocked, this is not a funny story.
"You always were committed to your craft."

You chuckle lightly.
"Yeah I guess committed is one word. Most people choose psychotic or obsessed."

"You're not psychotic y/n. Obsessed maybe."

You hit him on the shoulder playfully and he chuckles.

"I wish I could say I didn't understand, but you know I do. Everyone fucks up y/n, now you know better."

You smile at Carmen, he's always been so understanding with you. He blows a fuse at basically anyone at the tiniest mistake, but he's always so patient with you, so calm.

"Look, I want to ask you something."

There's a moment of silence as you start to internally panic, every possibility is running through your head. He's going to ask you to leave, you don't tell a story about nearly frying your staff alive and keep your job.

"I want you to run this place with me."