Not Anymore (Supernatural fanfic)

Rest Stop

Oh so looks like we got a little something going on with Erin and guys. Who do you ship?

Dean's point of view

Oh my god I'm so damn stupid! Why the hell did I kiss Erin? Why!

I couldn't help myself, she's just so beautiful and I guess it makes me want her even more since she's with Cas and has a freakin baby with him. I guess I feel like I have a slight chance since they're not like married or anything, they just kind of... happened.

I need to stop, I'm giving myself hope which I shouldn't be doing. She's with Cas.

I step into the door and see Sam and Cas' heads shoot up.

"There you guys are, we think we found something," Sam says.

"What?" Erin speaks up, rushing out from behind me.

"It's a long way away but all these lead up to it," Sam turns his laptop in her direction and her eyes brighten as she looks across it. My heart thumps when I see her eyes sparkle like that.

God I want to punch myself in the face.

"Come on! Let's go!" Erin shouts, turning to grab her stuff.

"Erin, this is going to take days to get to North Carolina. I hope you know that," Sam says, standing up to get his stuff ready too.

"I don't care how long it takes," Erin mumbles.

I sigh and turn to the door, walking out to get into my baby. I sit there in the driver seat, just staring off in the distance. I wondered what would come out of all this. I also hoped that Erin and I wouldn't be some awkward mess.

Dammit, Dean, why do you have to be like this.

Erin's point of view

I sigh as I jump in the back seat and I notice Dean jump as I do so.

I decide to not say anything since I figured the reason was because of what happened earlier. I wasn't sure what to think of it. It was... it wasn't bad. In fact that's what scares me.

I jump when Cas sits next to me and I realize that Dean and I might be feeling the same. I sit there awkwardly for a moment until Sam finally got his ass in the car.

"Alright," Dean says loudly, "let's get this show on the road."

The ride so far, my heart felt so empty. I look to my left, where Clara would be sitting, but of course nothing is there. I try and hold back any tears so I don't flip out in the middle of no where. I decided to think of something else. Like what the hell am I going to do about Dean. Does he like me like that? But... why should I care, I'm with Cas...

Ugh, I need a break from things. Badly.

Hours pass and I felt like my bladder was going to explode. Every bump we went over made it feel like a brick was crushing my insides.

"Dean, pull over at the next rest stop, I have to use it."

I hear him sigh and eventually one comes in the distance. He pulls up and I immediately jump out and run to it, finally relieving myself.

I look at the mirror while washing my hands and remembered that one time that my dad appeared in the mirror. I stood there longer than I needed to just to see if he would come. Nothing.

I walk out of the door and immediately bump into Dean which scares the crap out of me.

"Oh my god," I say, clutching my chest. "Don't do that, Dean!"

"I'm sorry! I just really think I should talk to you..."

Dean's point of view

The whole ride I thought about that kiss. I know I shouldn't, I mean it was just a kiss right?

But then I got to thinking, she kissed me back. Maybe she wasn't as happy with Cas as she says she is. But I could be wrong. At the same time I hoped I wasn't wrong. But how wrong would it be if she left Cas and then ended up with me?

Too wrong.

Erin ran to the bathroom after I stop at a rest stop. I tell Sam and Cas that I needed to go too. I trudged over to where the bathrooms were but instead of going to the men's, I stood outside of the women's, waiting for Erin.

She finally comes out and jumps back, yelling, "Oh my god, don't do that Dean!"

"I'm sorry!" I yell back, "I just really think I should talk to you..."

"About what?" she drops her hand from her chest, relaxing.

"Just- that... that kiss, alright? I want to know if you actually meant to kiss me back."

"I-uh-"

Oh great, I made her uncomfortable.

"Yeah, I did. But  I mean, I don't know..."

"Know what?" I ask.

"I don't know why. I mean, I guess Cas and I haven't really... communicated much like we used to," she explains.

I just nod my head and avoid eye contact.

"I screwed up didn't I?" I ask.

"No! You didn't, I promise. It just kind of took me by surprise you know? But... It wasn't bad..." she hesitated.

I raise an eyebrow. "You liked it?"

"Well... ugh, shut up," she kept a straight face but I notice her red face before she hides it behind her hair.

Before I could say anything else, I hear a honk coming from the Impala.

I give a quick glance at Erin who was looking in that general direction. We both walk back over together, earning a quick eyebrow raise from Sam in the front seat. Erin separates from my side and goes to her side of the car while I hop in the driver seat, ready to make a long, awkward journey to North Carolina