the broken

Chapter 20

His warm breath whispers across my chest, but everything is more confusing in the daylight, and I inevitably have to deal with Jamie, have to sweep up the shards of my life.

All good things have an end.

With a lingering sigh, I quietly uncurl Dan's fingers from my shirt and slide out from under the blankets as smoothly as possible, pausing to pull them back over his sleeping figure before slipping out of the room and down the hall to where Jamie's door was. My socks slide across the carpet as I drag my feet, shuffling towards the end of the hall, and I sigh again, wishing more than anything that I was still back in Dan's room, holding him close, with the sun making patterns across his skin, rather than trying to fix the mess that I had made. I slowly, hesitantly open Jamie's door.

"Jamie?" I whisper into the dark room, and I see his familiar figure stir and clumsily sit up from his bed.

"Hmm?" he grumbles sleepily, and I take that as an invitation to talk, closing the door behind me and crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, for last night. I was just very tired and concerned about Dan, but it was unacceptable for me to act that way and I apologise greatly for that," I say quietly, and he nods before crawling across the bed and wrapping his arms around me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay, I understand you were worried about Dan."

He pauses, words caught on the tip of his tongue, and I look at him expectantly.

"But...?"

"You just seem to care about him more than me now," Jamie says bitterly, reluctantly, refusing to meet my eyes.

"What? Why would you think I care about Dan more than you?"

Because I do. I just don't care about you in the same way I do Dan.

"Because you like him."

"No I don't!" I exclaim, frowning. My lies come out bitter and cold, and they ring false even to me. "I don't like Dan. I never will, I don't see him like that. He's just a friend and that's all he will ever be. I'm dating you, Jamie, not Dan. That counts for something."

My lies fly out of my mouth in an attempt to patch the holes I've made.

"Really?" he asks, and I nod.

Jamie's eyes flit to something behind me, but when I turn to see what he's staring at, he grabs my face, pulls me into a kiss, and I forget about it.

"So you don't like Dan?"

"No, I don't like Dan."

My mouth tastes bitter and the lies make my tongue feel heavy, but I smile at Jamie, desperate to make things okay again. His eyes wander behind me again, and this time I turn around, curious.

And there he was.

In the doorway stood Dan, hair still wild from sleep, clutching at the bottom of his sleeves.

"Dan, no."

He stares at me with dark, empty eyes.

"No, I'm sorry, that sounded bad. I didn't mean it like that."

"It's fine. No need to apologize."

His voice is flat and emotionless and comes out as a whisper, and he turns and disappears out of the doorway. I push Jamie off me and leap off the bed.

"No, Dan, wait."

He doesn't respond.

"Dan!"