the two boys i fell in love with // m.s

Feelings

Olivia's POV:
I awoke to a tapping, it was about 3:00pm and I looked over to see Matt at my window. I opened the door ever so quietly,
"What the fuck are you doing here!" I was yelling in a whisper knowing my parents would scream at me for having a boy over. They don't even know I'm home.
"I needed to check on you." I could tell he noticed my arm by the look on his face, but yet he didn't mention it. He sat down on my bed and so did I.
Matt stared at me till I sat down to the right of him. Right as I sat down his eyes went from my eyes straight to my cut up arm.
"You can talk to me you know?" I simply nod.
"Yeah, I know." I say looking at him as he placed his hand on my fresh cut. He looked at me.
"I know you may not tell me everything happening in your life, but just know I'm here for you." He lets go of my arm and places it on my check as he noticed my tear falling down.
"What's wrong?" Matt asked engulfing me into a hug...
"Nothing Matt, it's ok I'm fine." I started bailing my eyes out which showed I wasn't fine.
"Listen here." Matt began, pulling away from the hug. "I've loved you my whole life, and I've completely fallen in love with you, especially over the past few days. I hate seeing you cry because of Chris, and I will never forgive him for what he's done, but just know... I love you."
"Matt I." I got cut off
"No, it's ok I get it..." He got up leaving my room, and going out the window to his car. That is how I found out I lost feelings for Chris, and found my new feelings for Matt.

I wanted to tell him but he had completely left, what else was I supposed to do? Just sit there and act like an idiot? I sighed going on TikTok for a bit. After awhile Nick called and asked if I wanted to hang out with just him at his house. I immediately accepted the invite rummaging through my closet finding different clothes that I could be comfortable in but still look decent. I wore Matt's hoodie he had left here awhile ago, and I pulled out some grey joggers from my dresser, leaving the room and going to their house. I knocked and Nick opened the door right as I knocked.
"Jeez someone's excited to see me." We laughed heading to the couch where Matt and Chris were laughing about something.
"I invited Olivia to make things right."
"Im not saying sorry for shit." Chris says annoyed with my presence as usual.
"Too bad, we all are sitting here till we can all just be nice to each other."
"Sorry that Olivia is such a douche bag that she has to be annoying." Chris rolled his eyes as Matt slapped him.

After awhile of Nick trying his best for Chris to say sorry I interrupted.
"Nick, let's just go do something else. It's obvious Chris isn't going to say sorry, it's not your fault he has such a grudge around me." I walked off into nicks room. Sighing about how it's only Monday which means there's a whole week ahead. I didn't really want to hang around Matt at the moment since he did just pour all his feelings out on me, and I need time for myself. I can't hang out with Chris because of his nasty attitude towards me. If anything I think Nick could help me out in this situation I'm stuck in. Right as I started thinking about all the stuff Chris and my dad has done too me, I wanted more of my addiction. I searched everywhere for a lighter, scissors, anything. Then I found it, the pills I use to take, I placed a few in my hands grabbing some of nicks water. I was about to take them when the door opened, and I immediately swallowed the pill thinking it was Nick or Matt looking for me. But I was so wrong. I looked over to see... Chris.

"Chris what are you doing here?" I ask.
"What are you hiding?" Chris lowly says trying to figure out what was behind my back in my hand. Til he eventually grabs it from behind me.
"Olivia..."
"Mhm." I say lowly and kinda guilty. Nick was the only one who knew about my addiction, one of the reason why it was in his room. It was in here to hide it from me so I could stop.
"Why?" Chris looked disappointed...
"Why would you care?" I asked, I mean why would he care. He's hated me his whole life.
"I don't." He placed the capsule on the dresser, leaning against it. Chris was being dry, it scared me.
"Then why are you asking why?"
"Ok fine, I do care."
"But why?"
"But why? Because I loved you ever since I first met you, I was just mad because Matt liked you as well... I couldn't do that to my brother. So I didn't tell anyone, and began to shut people out. I became rude to you so I could change my feelings, but it never worked. So yes I care that you're self harming yourself right now at this very moment, why? Because I love you so much it hurts!" He stares into my eyes then looks down, and that's another person who poured their feelings to me today...
"Chris I uh... I don't like you in that way." I felt bad saying it.
"Let me guess, you like Matt?" I nod.
"Have him. I don't really care."
"Thank you Chris. Uh, may I hug you?" I thought it would still be polite to ask, you know... since he just started being nice to me.
"Of course." I smiled and hugged him tightly.
Now I just need to go tell Matt my feelings. This will be harder then it seems, and I know it. Since I'm not a good social person, especially when it comes to feelings.

"Also why are you wearing my hoodie?" Chris asked.
"This is yours? Matt said it was his. Do you want it back?"
"No it's fine, you look good in it." He smiled, and I went to go find Matt.