Will of the Fallen (Levi x OC)

Chapter 10: Rescue Mission

He's not here. He's not! This isn't happening.

You're far away from him. Look away.

So that's exactly what I did. I looked away, and screwed my eyes shut tightly.

After a while I hesitantly peeled both eyes open and let out a breath I had no idea I was holding in.

He was gone.

"I really need to figure myself out." I clicked my tongue in frustration and rose to my feet.

My booted toes tapped the ground a couple times as I thought to myself.

Who am I now? Who am I supposed to be? Surely not a heartless woman.

Is that where I'm headed again?

I shuddered at the displeasing thought.

No. That's not it. I'm just growing cold again.

Not heartless.

Lately, nothing I've done has been true to who I once was. I killed someone just to survive.

She will haunt me forever, just like the rest of the dead I have seen.

Not a huge difference there, but this time it was direct. It was me, not an outside force.

On top of that, I may have to do it again.

That's chilling in itself. I'm becoming jaded and bitter.

Levi tried to put my mind at ease in his own way, but I can't rely on him to constantly call me out.

There is no other way to see myself. I'm a killer. I betrayed myself, and now, I have to adopt a new mentality.

I can still save people. I can help them. That doesn't have to change.

I just can't afford to lose my life over it.

I have to survive. I have to get smarter. I have to view this as a war. Everything is a battle.

Everything is about life and death from this point on. I'll take threats seriously and cut them down as they come.

No more confusion or wallowing in this paralyzing self-pity. The past is the past, use your knowledge and move on.

The resolve that had dwindled since the capture of Reeves, ignited again, diminishing any doubts I had in my mind.

Kill or be killed. Just make sure you keep an open mind. Try peace first, always.

Taking a deep breath I turned to face our hide out. Just in time it seemed.

The door swung open and Levi stepped out into the darkness, wearing casual attire instead of what he had on before.

His gear was firmly strapped to his body which clued me in on the situation.

Levi had information.

I watched as he scanned the area, looking for me through the trees. His sharp eyes landed on me and without any hesitation, he began walking towards me.

Not wanting him to be the only one moving, my feet led me to him, over some bushes and into the open environment before him.

"You have new information." I observed quietly.

"Yes, but we have a moment." He breathed tiredly. Clearly, today was rough for him too.

Here I was, being absorbed in my own mind, so much so, that I neglected the man I loved dearly.