Best Friends Don't Sleep Together - A.H. Series #1

Chapter 40

The worst part of traveling to the other side of the Earth on a regular basis is that the journey back home is way too long to bear. Especially when it gives you hours to think about everything you've done wrong and how you could have been there for the one person that's loved you the most. Fifteen hours on a plane, and before that, trains, buses, cars ... I travelled for 18 hours nonstop, but I barely slept.

I should have tried to process the news, but all I could think about was: I'll never see my mom again. The last time I spoke to her was the day before my birthday, she tried to convince me to come home so that we could celebrate, but I refused, claiming Noah would never give me the time off. It was a lie, he probably would have, I just never asked.

Within five years, I have never once gone back home. Never. I just go from one hotel to the other. If I've seen my loved ones, it was only because they accommodated me by traveling to wherever I was. That's what my mom had decided to do, in the end. Because she couldn't convince me to go home, she'd decided to come to me instead.

I could have done so much more for my mom, yet I chose to run away and be selfish. At the very least, I could have made sure she knew how much I loved her. I used to, but in the past 5 years I've been so numb inside that I haven't been able to express anything to anyone. Not my mom, not my dad, not my friends.

What kind of daughter leaves her parents without ever going back even for a week? What kind of daughter drags her parents halfway through the globe just to see her, because she doesn't want to set foot in the Godforsaken town she's escaped?

When I got out of the cab, and my eyes landed on my childhood home, my eyes inevitably filled with tears. At the same time, flashbacks of that night 5 years ago flooded through my memory, as if I'd inadvertently unlocked the Pandora's box I kept them in.

I saw Sebastian unhinged, punching Tony through his skull even when it was clear that he was pretty much dead. I saw the furious look in his blue eyes when he pushed me away, then the fleeting panic when he realized what he'd done to me and what his action might bring to. Days later, I found out Agents Ferrera and Durant had been found dead as well, shot in the head. Somehow, it had looked like they had had an argument amongst them, due to the kind of illicit affairs they had.

I never had the courage to talk to Dylan about it. Hell, I never faced anyone over what happened that night. As soon as I was able to stand on my own two feet, I quite simply left. I merely told my parents I needed to get away, and they understood. Even when I remained quiet for months, not answering phone calls or texts, my mom understood my need for space. And when I finally returned to the living, she welcomed me home like I'd never left. I guess that's what mothers are for, right? To make you feel loved even when you don't deserve it.

"It's ok," Noah's soft tone filled my ears as he pulled me into him for a gentle hug, "you can cry, I'm here."

"You need to go to HQ." I reminded him through tears. The only reason I'd allowed him to come with me was that he claimed he had to see top management about the next assignments.

He made a sound, like a small chuckle. "Come on, you know that was a lie."

I suspected it, I just didn't really argue. As selfish as it may sound, I kind of knew he just wanted to be there for me, and being cuddled and comforted by Noah throughout the long journey to my hometown was the one thing that allowed me not to break entirely. "Thank you." I murmured, my voice muffled by his chest.

"No biggie." He placed a small kiss on the top of my head.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled back, and nodded to myself more than to him. "I need to go inside."

"Sure." Noah grabbed my hand.

"Alone."

He shook his head, pulling me into him again. "You're not doing any of this alone, Vivian." Noah repeated – because he'd already told me the same thing throughout the travel. "I'm not here as anything in particular other than a friend, but I'm not leaving you on your own."