Best Friends Don't Sleep Together - A.H. Series #1

Chapter 16

VIVIAN

"Have you seen my phone?" I frowned, searching my bag. "I'm sure it was here ..."

Sebastian came to wrap his arms around me from behind, and placed a small kiss on my bare shoulder. "All I see is you."

I smiled, feeling my heart flutter. Having someone like him say such things, having someone talk to you like that for the first time, it does things to you, you know. It's difficult to just shrug it off as corny pickup lines, especially considering he acts like that most of the time, and even after we've slept together. I mean, sure, I've had men throw at me the lamest lines ever, but Sebastian is just ... I don't know, there's just something about him that I cannot quite define.

Nevertheless, focusing solely on Sebastian is not as easy as it seemed at first. Especially not today of all days. On February 13th 1995, my family moved to a new neighborhood. The next-door people came to visit almost immediately, and my mom found the woman that became her best friend. I found the person I would love for the rest of my life. 20 years later, I am forced to decide whether I still want that person in my life or not. Or rather, I have to decide whether this pain is worth it or not.

I don't want to lose Chris, I don't. But if he's really back with Karen, what Laura has been predicting finally became true, and I don't know if my heart can take that sorrow anymore. Both her and Adam are right, I need to think about my career as well, and if it's not meant to be, I need to wake up and move on. Waiting for Chris has only proved to be painful, do I really want to keep going? Or rather, can I afford it? My heart can't really take more blows.

"Are you alright?" Sebastian asked, tightening his grip on me.

I cleared my throat, realizing I'd been spacing out. "Yeah, I ... sorry, I was a bit distracted." That's one word for it.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian asked, sounding genuinely concerned. "Better said, what's wrong that I can fix?" That had me smile a bit more cheerfully. "There you go," he placed a small kiss on my cheek, "mildly better. But not enough."

"I'm fine." I kind of lied. "I just ... have a lot on my mind lately, that's all." I just quit my job and accepted another one in a whole new country. I have a lot to take care of before actually moving to London, and at the same time I have to deal with my own lovesick self trying to sabotage me, reminding me that four months away from Chris are a long time, especially with Karen exercising her bad influence on him. At the same time, I don't even know where we're at, we haven't really spoken.

In the past few days, there have been texts and really short calls, but since yesterday I haven't heard a single word from Chris. It is a bit odd, given what today is, but maybe Karen keeps him busy, no time to think about our anniversary. That tattoo he got for me would say otherwise, though. That's why I'm so torn. And the fact that I can't find my phone doesn't help with my doubts.

"Something like what?" Sebastian wondered. "Or ... who?"

Always so perceptive. I turned around in his arms, giving him a small smile. "Life can be really complicated, sometimes." I mused, then mentally chastised myself, remembering whom I just said that to. He would know something about how life cruel can be, wouldn't he? Closing my eyes, I sighed. "Sorry."

"For what?"

"I just ... I mean ..."

Sebastian gave me a small smile, kissing my forehead. "It's alright. You don't need to measure your words."

I was amazed. Losing the person you thought you would marry, at such a young age and so abruptly, it must have been heart-wrenching, yet Sebastian seems so calm, so ... positive about life. I don't know if I could do the same. When he told me about his girlfriend, Lola, how she died in a car accident just a few days before their wedding, my first reaction was shock. Then I kept thinking about Chris, how would I react if something happened to him. I would not cope like Sebastian did, I am sure. Then I realized, technically, I have already lost Chris.