Not In That Way...

Chapter 2 // unfortunate events

Ashley Johnson

Delilah and I step out of my car only to find a large group of people are staring at us. Well more accurately... Me.

"Dee I thought this would be over now" I speak in a quiet whining voice, barely moving my lips so the nosy people that's watching us can't tell.

Delilah just gives me a sympathetic look before grasping hold of my shaking hand and walking speedily through the crowd (which could be mistaken for wild animals that have just escaped a zoo). They start showing sad smiles - ones I really do not want or need - I don't see why they care! It's none of their business what goes on in my life. If I wanted people to know each detail of my life then I would be one of those depressing freaks who post their every movement on Facebook or Twitter.

But I'm not.

I know exactly why they are doing this. But I'm fine, anyway, if anything making this much of a fuss of it is only going to remind me more of what happened. And I don't want that; I'm fine.

No you're not, you idiot. That stupid voice in my head acts as a constant reminder of my feelings.

I try to convince myself I'm fine every night, but honestly I can barely sleep. I loved him so much.

I still do.

But he hurt you. There goes that stupid voice again. As much as I try and deny it, the annoying voice is right. He's a horrible pig who deserves to rot in hell. Alone.

Recently my boyfriend - or should I say ex boyfriend (Josh Donovan)- got into a big fight with the schools football captain over me because he was 'looking at me in the wrong way' and he was flirting with me according to josh but I don't see how calling me an ant is flirting. Back to the point - when I shouted at him to stop throwing careless punches at an innocent guy he turned around and was sure to have hit me straight across my cheek. I now have a cut surrounded by the biggest bruise ever and even concealer and foundation can't hide it away without me having to look like I need a shovel to remove the makeup.

You are probably wondering why the hell he'd turn to hit me but honestly I am still wondering the same thing. I was stood by his side at the time when BAM - I have a swollen cheek and a small yet deep cut placed on my cheek too.

Ashley Johnson dating the school's bad boy... You'd of thought that I would be more wiser to the situation right? But no. I honestly thought he was different. He pinky promised he would never hit me because he had to watch his mum get abused when he was younger. The lying son of a biscuit.

This time I was in the middle of the act... Literally. This is why they keep sending me their apologies through the sympathetic smiles shown.

You know what was the worst thing about what happened? I had to act like I didn't care, like it didn't affect me, like it didn't feel like he stabbed my heart (or my cheek in that case) and when people look at me with their eyes filled with pure sympathy that the knife that he shoved in my heart without a care isn't being twisted over and over again.

I hate it; feeling weak and feeling worthless. This is why I'm so against hurting people in a relationship whether it's physically or emotionally, in the end, they both leave you scarred.

***

Me and Delilah walk into science only for me to find Bradley sat on my desk holding something which looks like a note.

Oh God no. Please don't be for me.

The rest of the class were too busy talking amongst themselves to notice Bradley sat on my table. If they noticed I bet they would be wondering why the hell he tries so hard to talk to me all the time when all I do is ignore him. (Honestly I thought he would have given up by now, it's been eight months).