just acting | yeonbin ʚɞ

05

(Just a heads up this part is going to be soobins pov)

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Days had passed since yeonjun randomly ate lunch with me and taehyun.

Probably 5 or 6 days?

I dunno, I guess I lost count.

It was crazy though.

He really seemed to have no memory of me at all. 

When we were younger, we were so close.

How could he forget me just like that?

Seriously hyung..

I missed him, but the way we had met again was making me rethink things.

Seriously, Choi Soobin, what were you thinking letting him kiss you?

Was he really serious with me?

This was one way of getting murdered by my parents.

I'm not gay.. I'm not gay.. I'm not gay...

I can't be attracted to guys..it's supposed to be disgusting.

But why isn't it?

Why can't I love who I want..

It's my damn life.

But I can't help and let my parents choose my life for me,

That's what I've done pretty much my whole life.

It was currently 12:00am and I was having a hard time sleeping

It was always like this,

I always had a hard time falling asleep.

Maybe because my head wouldn't stop running, running miles even.

But I had so many questions and so many answers to find the answer to and my mind just couldn't let it all go to waste. What was it to me though? I would fall asleep eventually, waste my energy in the morning, then have burnout.

I wasn't lazy, no way. I just didn't really like being close to others too much. It was so draining, even talking to more than 1 person. Sitting in a class was so tiring, having to interact with people to get group tasks done.

Or maybe I was just really introverted. Only until I was comfortable.

I am extremely comfortable with taehyun, and it's visible.

I would have been really comfortable with yeonjun too but our past is just too much for me and on top of the fact that we had to kiss after reuniting..

Why is my life so weird?

And now I had him trying to flirt with me..

It wasn't bad really, just a really confusing situation.

I tried my best to avoid confusing situations because they were extremely, and I mean extremely uncomfortable.

Why was I still even thinking about this? It had been about a week since that kiss, but it was still haunting me.

I wondered if that kiss had any real feelings involved

I wondered if yeonjun was just playing with my heart

Honestly.. why would someone like choi yeonjun want to flirt with someone like me?

I wish he could remember when we were kids.

Then maybe he wouldn't have kissed me.

Maybe he would've learned his lesson...