Pink Pansies ✺ A Pedro Pascal A.U.

Chapter 18: I Wanted To

After sliding on some pajama pants I lit a scented candle and attempted to make my bed. My studio apartment was nice, but it was still a studio. There wasn't really space for company unless we wanted to sit at my small kitchen table or on my bed. I was hoping he wouldn't mind my bed, and that I wouldn't be feral.

I put my electric kettle on to boil to make some more tea and found myself walking slightly hunched over. Motrin didn't work that well in the first place, but once it started to wear off I could really feel the pain I was in. I'd have to wait another hour or so until I could take more.

Suddenly I heard a knock at the door and felt my heart sink into my stomach. I thought I wouldn't be nervous to see him, but I was wrong to make that assumption.

I hobbled over and unlocked the door before peeling it back. Pedro stood on my doorstep, donned in a black windbreaker with the hood up. He had a few bags in his hands and a smile that served as a substitute for sunshine.

"Hey." A tenderness in his voice with eyes that seemed to match.

"Hi," I sighed, stepping aside to let him in. "Can't believe it's still raining." 

"Makes for good cuddle weather." He offered, then quickly said, "if that's something you'd like to do. No pressure." His eyes downcast as he slid his shoes off and left them by the door.

It was an unnecessary, but incredibly thoughtful gesture for him to come over after a long week of work. Guilt seeped in when I thought of how I talked to him on the phone. This monthly sickness made me feel like I was a different person. I knew how I wanted to act or what I wanted to say, but I constantly saw myself doing the opposite. It was hard to feel so out of control. But Pedro was kind, and I hoped he would understand.

Hot tears began to sting my eyes and I blinked several times, trying to exert some willpower over my emotional state. "That would be nice." my voice came out hoarse, causing him to look over at me.

"Oh Emi," He put the bags down on the floor and wrapped his arms around me, half joking as he said, "you're so pitiful."

I chuckled and didn't realize how much I needed that. Even though everything felt so intense and so real, it didn't have to be so serious.

We stood there for a few moments and while I enjoyed this display of affection, his windbreaker was cold and damp from the rain. The heat of his body locked inside of it. I thought of how good it would feel to cuddle with him and became impatient.  "Alright, you're getting me wet. You can hang your jacket on the chair."

"I'd make a joke but I think right now you just need a lot of gentleness." He pulled away and did as I instructed, also putting his keys on the table. He looked back to me with a slight smirk.

My brow furrowed but my face heated up as I thought about what I was doing ten minutes ago. I stayed silent and instinctively clutched my stomach as a wave of cramps ran through me.

"Go sit down." Firm but gentle as he came over to me, his hand on my shoulder directing me to my bed. I wanted to say something but I held my tongue and yielded, focusing instead on how nice it would be to return to my cozy blankets. My body instantly curled in on itself but I tried to sit up as I watched him return to the bags he brought.

"What'd you bring?" I asked, reaching over for my heating pad and pressing it against me.

"A few things," He opened each one up to look through, probably deciding which one he wanted to show me first. "Shit."

"What?"

"I forgot something in my car." He looked over at me apologetically, "I'll be right back."

"Ok, I'll leave the door unlocked so just come back in."