Netherlands: Don't be afraid of me
Netherlands: I don't bite
Luxembourg: Yeah, but do you stab?
Netherlands:
Netherlands: I don't bite
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Netherlands, probably high: Yesterday, I watched Luxembourg try to eat a decorative rock from Germany's potted plant. Belgium caught them and told them they can't eat rocks. Luxembourg started whining something about no food being in the house before walking away
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Belgium: I know what you're up to.
Netherlands: Really? Because I barely know
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Netherlands: Guys where did Luxembourg go?
Belgium: They got arrested.
Netherlands: How the hell-
Luxembourg: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people
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Belgium: How did you even get in here?
Netherlands: Luxembourg's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Netherlands's door"!
Luxembourg: I’m closing the window
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Netherlands: I'm going to get myself some soup
Belgium: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot
Netherlands: Pfft, I won't burn myself
*30 seconds later*
Netherlands, entering the room: I burned myself.
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Belgium: What are you drinking?
France, crying: Vodka.
Belgium: Straight?
France: No, gay. Why?
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Belgium, holding an unconcious Luxembourg: Oh no. Please don't be dead.
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Luxembourg: Is Belgium always like this when she loses?
Netherlands: Oh, yes. You should've been there for the Great Jenga Tantrum of 2015
Belgium: You bumped that table and you know it!
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Netherlands: Why do I always try to tell people we're cool? We are so very uncool.
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Belgium, holding an unconcious Netherlands: Oh no. Please be dead.
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Luxembourg: Jesus saves
Netherlands: Passes to Moses, SCOOOORE!
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Netherlands: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon
Germany: Spear.
Netherlands: BLOCKED.
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France, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay?
Belgium: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!
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Belgium, when France walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza
Belgium: *accidentally smacks Netherlands in the face with the baking sheet*
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Netherlands: Let’s write Germany a friendly note, shall we? Dear... Incompetent... Dumbass...
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Luxembourg: My head hurts
Netherlands: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity
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Netherlands, high again: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo?
Belgium: ICARUS?
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Belgium: Never gonna make you cry!
Luxembourg: Never gonna say goodbye!
Belgium: Never gonna tell a lie-
Netherlands: I will hurt you.
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Luxembourg, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies
Belgium: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?
Luxembourg: I have depression, what do you think?
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Netherlands: Caw caw, motherfuckers
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Germany: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl...
France: ...
Luxembourg: ...
Belgium: ...
Netherlands: ... Who?
Germany: That's the thing, we don't-
*Everyone looks at Netherlands*
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Belgium: I'm not a morning person. I'm barely even a person
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Belgium: Are they stupid?
Netherlands: Yes, but they prefer to be called Luxembourg.
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Luxembourg: So, according to my university, it is, I quote, “my responsibility if there is an internet outage to contact the faculty and the department.”
Luxembourg: Now, if you’re a critical thinker like me, you might be wondering one thing,
Luxembourg: HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO EMAIL THE DEPARTMENT?!
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Belgium, to Netherlands: All right, let’s tell each other a secret about ourselves. I’m going first- I hate you.
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Germany: Are you a masochist or a sadist?
Netherlands, deadpan: I’m a Taurus.
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Netherlands: You're pathetic!
Belgium: You're pathetic-er!
Luxembourg: You're both losers.
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Netherlands: You know, studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun.
Netherlands: That's why I own TEN guns.
Netherlands: Just in case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder.
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Luxembourg: Love makes people do stupid things.
Belgium: I love everything!
Luxembourg: That explains a lot.
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Belgium: Hey, Luxembourg? I need advice
Luxembourg: I’m pretty useless at giving advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
