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focus

[note: one of the season 5 episodes was on tv and it made me realise how little eye contact sid gives when he's doing his autopsy findings and when he does, to me it feels a touch.. forced?

i have asperger's too and for a whole lot of reasons aspie!sid has been a long-standing headcanon of mine, and the idea for this hit me after i'd watched said episode.]

--*--

Eye contact isn't his strong suit.

He's never found it easy, but the more he gets to know someone, the uncomfortable feeling he gets in the pit of his stomach when he gives it lessens. If anything, his line of work somewhat takes away that need to give it when he's talking about his findings because most of the time what he's showing the detectives is something that he can lift up or a chart to read out whilst he's explaining it to them.

As much as he wishes otherwise, none of that stops those days where he just can't do it no matter how hard he tries. It's a rarity, but it tends to happen when something's overstimulated him. Be it the bright lights getting to him while he's pulling a double and all he wants is to get out of autopsy for just five minutes, or when he's not had enough or even too much coffee in a last-ditch attempt to pull him through a difficult day. He feels incredibly lucky to be working with a group of people who completely understand him and don't push him to keep looking when he's talking to them.

It's not that he'd rather be concentrating on holding his gaze elsewhere, but the thought that he can never be sure how long he's meant to be looking into someone's eyes during a conversation bothers him. He has plenty of questions about it, but for now he's fine with them not being answered.