48 Hours || Chris Evans

Sour Apple Vape

Mental health was unknown to Rae.  She had never dealt with it on a personal level.  She had friends and loved ones whose lives seemed to be overrun with it, but not her.  She never truly understood what they were going through.  Rae could be there for them, offering a sarcastic quip or some sincere advice if they needed it, always served with a side of sympathetic smile.

But her eyes had opened, finally truly opened from the sleep she thought would last forever and everything was grey.  Not the in fashion chic grey that everyone seemed to be using to decorate their houses, it was like the scene from The Never Ending story when Artax gets stuck in the mud and won't move, no matter how hard Atreyu pleads or pulls, the horse has simply given up.  Rae was both these characters. 

She hadn't given up, she was just so overwhelmed by the swell of sadness that she wasn't sure if it was worth the effort to fight against it.  So she left part of herself in the swamp and tried to meander through life. Work, eat, sleep, sleep some more, sleep even longer than normal, repeat.

"It's alive." A worried smile sat on the corner of Lorraine's mouth as Rae entered the kitchen.

Rae nodded, "Barely." She said reaching for a mug of coffee.

"Do you think it's time to go to the doctors and see if you can get a wee tablet hen, there's no shame in it."

Rae shook her head, "And say what?  'see that Captain America guy? Well Doctor Linus, I met him in London, spent forty eight hours with him in a hotel room, during which time we had a bout of the shits,I fell in love with the bastard, accidentally said it in a voice note, and then slowly he ghosted me. Well now I'm so depressed I think hourly about taking a long hot bath with a Morphy Richards bath bomb.'" 

Sitting at the kitchen table, Rae took her mothers toast from her plate and took a bite out of it, "If I tell him that he'll fire me into a padded cell and throw away the key."

Lorraine shrugged, "Maybe don't say it like that." She joked, sliding the plate over to Rae encouraging her to eat some more.

"Rach, while I know you are heartbroken, I think it's more than that.  I don't think you were good up here," She tapped the side of her head, "before you went to London.  I think something has been gnawing at you for a wee while and now this with the fella has tipped you over the edge."

"I wish it would tip me over the edge." Rae murmured.

"Will you go see a doctor?" Lorraine asked, her tone stern.

Rae nodded, "Aye okay, but if I end up in The Priory you have to sneak me in a sour apple vape."

"Deal." Lorraine smiled.

It's hard watching your child go through something, no matter what age they are, you always see them as that little baby you held in your arms, fragile, vulnerable.  Lorraine couldn't help but feel guilty for being too busy to notice the miniscule signs that Rae wasn't okay. But she saw them now, and she was determined to help build her vivacious daughter back up.

***

Rae had been dismissed with a prescription, her name placed on the waiting list for counselling.  According to the doctor it was a long list, but the tablets should start to help in 2-3 weeks.  Mental health isn't a quick fix.  

She had been on the tablets for a week now, and perhaps it was a placebo effect, but there was a slight change to her mood.  Just a small one, but she was seeing things more clearly now.  For one she was so angry at herself for being so hung up on a boy.  For allowing the whole Chris Evans situation to wear her down to the quick.  But she was working past that.  Slowly but surely.

There was a mint green fiat 500 parked outside her house, she knew that car...Jo was here.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Rae exclaimed, pulling Jo into her arms.  The two girls cuddled, swaying back and forth in the living room.  Dale and Lorraine exchanging a heart warming smile between them.

Both girls refused to break the hug, it seemed that they had each needed it more than the other.
Jo rested her chin on Rae's shoulder, "I was just so homesick and I wanted to see you, in person."

"You mean my mum phoned you and grassed me in for being a sad little Glasgow central pigeon." Rae countered.

Jo pulled back holding onto her tears as she laughed at Rae's flippancy, "They pigeons have a better life than us y'know."  Her lips pressed together in a thin line, "Rachel, I'm sorry."

Rae shrugged off her apology, "I'm fine. Truly."

Jo shook her head, "That's not why I'm sorry..."

"Then why are you so- what have you done?  Are you pregnant?" Rae's heart rate picked up, her anxiety piqued curiosity which bred more anxiety.

Jo furrowed her brows, "No I am not pregnant..."

"Then whit is it?" Rae snapped folding her arms across her chest.

"I emailed him."

"Him who?" Rae raised her brows curiously, then her face fell.  Her heart dropped into her stomach, her stomach fell into her arse and suddenly she was back to square one, wanting the ground to open up and swallow her.

"Chris Evans."

A string of intelligible Scottish curse words flew of out Rae's mouth, ending with, "Are you havin' a fuckin' laugh?"

Dale and Lorraine sneakily slipped out of the living room allowing the girls to have a more private arena.  

Jo's arms folded across her chest, "No Rae, I'm not having a laugh.  What he did was wrong and he had to know that.  I told him how badly he treated you, and that you might have sent that voice note but it wasn't like you both hadn't already said the words.  He lead you on then fucked off and it was complete and utter fuckery behaviour and he had to be held accountable." Her face was comically stuck in a matter-of-factly pose, "I also told him that I threw my funko pop in the fire."

"Did you?" Rae asked after a beat.

Jo' smirked, "No, but he doesn't need to know that." 

The next breath that Rae took was long, and deep and it filled her lungs to capacity the overspill slowly trickling out of her flared nostrils. "So when did you send this email?"

"It was more of an Instagram message."

"When?"

Jo grinned anxiously, "On the drive up here."

"Has he read it?" Rae asked, her hands trembling.

"No, not yet."

Rae felt sick, there was no flowery language that could describe it better.  She. felt. sick.

She needed to think about something else, anything else.  Her mind had been consumed by him for months, and this unhealthy attachment was debilitating. "How long are you here for?" She asked.

"I have work tomorrow morning, I just needed to hug you." 

"You drove all the way from London to Glasgow just to give me a hug?" Rae's eyes brimmed with tears.

Jo nodded, "Only because there weren't any flights left."

"You're aff your heid." Rae chuckled through a string of hearty sobs.

Jo began to cry too, "Yep, so are you Rae Culloch."

Lorraine wrapped her arm around her daughters waist, pulling her in close, "Was that just what you needed?" She whispered as Jo and Dale waved, getting into their car.

Rae nodded sadly, "Aye, I could have done without her giving him a row on Instagram, but what can you do?"

Dale started the engine, he paused for a moment and turned to Jo. His mouth moved slowly, a soft grin spreading across his lips.  Jo jumped out of the car, "Rae! Do you want to come back with us?"

Rae shoved the air dismissing the notion, "Naw, don't be daft.  I've got work as well."

"Please?" Jo called out.

Lorraine shoved her forward, "On ye go hen.  Fuck work.  You're only a number." She ran into the house grabbing a coat and shoes for Rae, "Here," She thrust a credit card into her hand, "max it out, I don't care.  It's only money, I'll make more." 

Was she really going to do this?  Just not go to work and spend god knows how long in London?  She had a tonne of savings, that would cover her bills and spending for a while.  But what about Christmas? How long would she be there?  No.  This was a silly notion.

"Go." Lorraine encouraged.

Rae looked at the card in her hand then back up to Jo's wiggling eyebrows, "Fuck it.  Give me five minutes to pack a bag." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Aff yer heid - Crazy, off your head, nuts, bonkers

Hen -  A term of endearment used for women i.e love, darling, doll

On ye go - Off you go 

I wonder if Chris will read the message...

Or if someone will intercept.

Anyway, sorry about the slow updates but I'm lazy.