about me and my life.

Wantings Or Thoughts?

Almost everyday i feel like giving up or even k-lling myself im not happy i barely feel like a child

I feel like my childhood is going to end sooner or later it doesnt feel like i had it i hated good days cause they always ended badly

I couldnt stand it i either cried in my room or just watched videos to cheer me up yet anything always ruined my good days

Thats the reason i dont like them they always end badly i cant stand them everytging always goes wrong for me

I wish i would be dead noone even needs me
I wish i could just go to a psych ward i wouldnt be bothered i would be able to be in peace while noone bothers me

Its not like im sure that im sane neither do i believe so but i do wish to go somewhere peacefull

Somehwere i could do arts and just chill while listening to music it probably woulsnt be a psych ward but i wouldnt hurt myself with things that i like

I like drawing listening to music peacefully i wouldnt stand doing anything other than that idd probably enjoy the psych ward if i could do those things

I would surely enjoy it idd probably be exited by doing baiscally nothing all day friends arent too important to me idd probs anoyy the staff

If i would make friends i think it would be fun its not like i would hurt them neither would they atleast idd hope so

But also idd probs get pumped w meds if it wouldnt affect my art and music idd do it for sake of it idd be happy

Idd probably would go more insane but im not mad abt it idd love it really idd be happy maybe the killing myself thoights would go away?

I wouldnt have to try to do something correctly and mess up i would be possibly prased for my art

I would end up being bored maybe but i would be happy just having fun listening to music

i dont know if the thoughts of killing myself would go away im not sure but id be lucky if it did i wish i could just fall asleep and never wake up

Dreaming about the things i wish to do like travel the world make good money idd be happy i wouldnt be stressed or atleast i hope...