The Broken Ones

CHAPTER 6

GWEN

"So how long have you been cheating on me, you fucker?"

The colour seems to drain from his entire body. "I'm not going to deny it."

"It's not like you can --- I saw you."

"I have too much respect for you to --- "

"You know nothing about respect, you…you shit."

"Gwen. Listen to me," he says softly, rising to his feet, takes a step forward.

"Don't. Come. Near. Me." I glare hatred.

He stops, takes a step back.

"For Emma's sake, please."

"Don't you dare use Emma," I hiss. And then I am seeing her little face cloud over with sadness, hearing her whisper in my head, Why is Daddy always working, Mummy?

My throat swells.

"How could you do this to her? She's too small for this. Too innocent."

"Gwen. I'm sorry." He starts towards me again.

"Stop! Don't come any nearer, you...you vermin --- "

He stops. "It meant nothing. I love you and Emma more than anything in the world. I'm sorry…"

"That I found out?"

"That you got hurt --- that you" --- his voice breaks --- "lost --- the --- our --- baby --- "

I look at Noah, whose eyes are watering. He blinks and the tears are sucked back in.

"Maybe it was better this way," I hear myself say in my new dead voice.

Noah sobs, a peculiar noise I can't remember ever hearing before. "It was my fault that you miscarried --- I'll never forgive myself for it." He looks at me, pure anguish in his eyes. "I wanted this baby. We tried for so long, and when you told me, I was ecstatic, I was thinking up names the whole drive to the beach chalet, I had so many plans --- " his voice cracks, and he buries his face in his hands, harsh loud sobs racking his body, making it shudder.

I say nothing.

After a moment, he lifts his head.

"How many times?" I ask, my voice a whisper.

His face is ravaged, wet, filled with shame.

"I'm sorry --- "

"How many times?" I say again, louder this time.

"Twice," he says thickly.

"I don't believe you." I will never believe him again. Once trust is lost, every word is suspect, every action tainted. Once trust is lost, it can never be regained.

"No, it's the truth, I swear --- " he protests.

"I called your girlfriend. I asked her. She said it was more than twice." I am lying. There has been radio silence from Kathy.

Noah looks taken aback, then says hurriedly, "Okay. It was three times. Not twice. I'm just confused --- I'm not thinking straight --- "

I stare at him and he stops, his Adam's apple bobbing frantically in his lying throat.

Then:

"Can't we just leave it at that?" Pleading. "Gwen. Please. You don't need to know --- "

"I do," I say, very calmly. "Tell me. No more lies. Your girlfriend has told me her story. Let's see if yours matches hers."