Let Go ~ Total Drama

Let Go

This was an older, extremely vauge, short, bite-sized story I wrote, heavily inspired by "Cherry Wine" by 1n_act1ve and I encourage you to please go read their story <3 This was also inspired by the song "Tea Errors" by Jack Stauber which I also encourage you to listen to.

Disclaimer:

I am in no way encouraging, romanticizing, or trying to normalise Sierra's behavior.

TW: Ab*se from a partner, implied dr*gging
If any of this is sensitive to you, you don't feel as if you're in the right headspace, or feel uncomfortable reading about it, it's okay if you need to leave. I understand and it's perfectly okay. I'll see you in the next one :)

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Everyone else thinks it's fine. Everyone. My friends think it's fine. Her parents think it's fine. She thinks it's fine. It's not fine.

I want her to let go. Let go of my wrists. Let go of my throat. Let go of my soul. Let go of me, please. I'm begging you. Stop it...

It's not like I can just leave her myself. Then she'll get hurt. Others will get hurt. She'll show up at more windows then just mine. I don't want that. Even if when I looks around for help they're all shadows. Even if it is her fault, it's my fault for loving her.

I can't except anything from anyone anymore because of her. Don't hug me please, it hurts. Don't smile at me until I smile at you, I can't take what's not mine. Don't offer me drinks anymore. My hands will start to shake and everything will get darker.

God, she's so pretty. I don't know anyone prettier than her. She won't let me talk to anyone else so how would I know?

Knock before you enter my room. I don't want you to see me hurt. Except for her, she already knows. She's the one who did it to me. I think... I'm losing track of what bruises are from accidents, myself, or her nowadays. Maybe that's a sign it'll end soon. Maybe it's the peak of everything bad happening. Maybe she'll stop and become better. I know she can change, I just know it.

Her hand is in the wrong place and she won't let go no matter how much I ask. It's because she loves me. Lovers should let their lovers do whatever they want to them. That's what she's said. But I'm afraid to do anything myself. She'll get over excited. And it's not like I want to do anything with her in the first place...

Is this love? I don't know. I thought I loved her. Maybe I do. She tells me it's love and it's how she shows it to me, so it has to be, right? ...Right?

I can't breathe.

My heart is beating and

it hurts. There has to be

more to her than this. I

need there to be. For everyone,

but how can I when

everything is

going

black

.

The morning light makes me tired instead of awake nowadays. I assume it comes with age. That's the only explanation. I can't get up. She won't let go.

Sierra, please let go.