A Shot in the Dark (Thilbo - Bagginshield)

Chapter 9

"Because... I could not live with myself if I did not do everything I could to see that you all lived to reclaim your home," he answered slowly.

"You care that much about our quest? But you are not even a Dwarf," Dwalin pointed out with a raised brow. "Why should you care if we get home or not?"

"Compassion and understanding are not limited to race," he pointed out. "I do not need to be a Dwarf to understand what it's like to want to go home."

Dwalin stared at him for a long time before slowly shaking his head. "You are a rare sort, Mister Burglar. If only... well, it does not matter. It makes it even clearer that I need to stay with you. You are much too soft to survive out here alone."

Bilbo wanted to bang his head against the stone around them. Only the fact that his head had already hurt kept him from doing so. "This is ridiculous. I am not in any danger here, but the same could not be for the others—"

"The others are trained and experienced in surviving these sorts of matters," interrupted Dwalin, rolling his eyes. "They are also more likely still together or will be able to find each other easier than we would. Now stop arguing, and let me think of a way to get out of here together."

The Hobbit huffed and leaned back against the cold rocks behind him. "Fine, but try not to hurt yourself."

Dwalin ignored him.

With nothing more to do, Bilbo closed his eyes and tried to focus on the pain to avoid thinking. But it was hard. He found that his mind could not erase the image of Fili's wide eyes or the sound of Kili's screams. He could not ignore the truth that he had caused... that one of his comrades was possibly...

"This is all my fault," he said out loud as if it would somehow make him feel better.

It didn't.

In front of him, he heard Dwalin snort. "Don't be daft. You could not have known that the giant would have moved. Do not waste your time wallowing in self-pity."

But I did know, he argued back in his head. I knew what was going to happen, and I still screwed up. What... What do I do now? How will I face the others knowing that I... that I possibly killed their brothers and friends?

To his frustration, Bilbo could feel tears welling up in his eyes. He tried quickly wiping them away before his companion noticed, but he was too late.

"Hey, don't you start bawlin' on me!" the Dwarf ordered, pointing a finger at him. "We don't have time for tears here. We have to find a way out and back to the others. So quit wallowing in guilt and get it together!"

Bilbo nodded, pushing back his emotions and trying to become clear-headed. "Of course, of course. I'm sorry, just frustrated by my stupidity."

"Still no reason for you to cry," the warrior grumbled.

"I know. I just... I considered facing the others and telling them their brother or friend was not returning. I don't think I could do it," he admitted quietly.

Dwalin said nothing to that.

"I think it would be worse telling Kili," he continued, unsure why he was still talking but knowing he did not want to stop. "The others seem used to losing or at least having someone else. But Kili... I heard him screaming before I fell. He... He sounded like his world was falling around him. And I couldn't even face Thorin when he... when he looked at me."

He had never understood the relationship between the two brothers, but he admired the strength of such a bond. It was the type of bond that came from living a life where half your world was made up of another person. He had only seen such a relationship one time in his life, between Pippin and Merry.