𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭, charlie conway

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 | a big strong boyfriend

CRYSTAL, CRYSTAL, CRYSTAL... THAT'S all that's been on Charlie's mind for the last 24 hours. He got home from the Nelsons still thinking of her, did his homework, made dinner still thinking of her. Went to bed and dreamed of her, spent a hockey practice and a morning full of classes recounting every moment they shared Saturday and Sunday. He was sitting now in study hall, knowing that he desperately needed to get some work done if he wanted to see her after school, but he was still too preoccupied.

Though he was partially so taken with his memories because of how much he loved Crystal, how much he had yearned for her, the factor that kept him so hung up about it was that he couldn't tell anyone. How could he? No one would believe that a girl who studies Atlantis and loves Alf (and apparently Muppet Babies) would be able to confess romantic love to a boy in such a profound, sophisticated way. Not to mention the kiss story was utterly unbelievable and shockingly anomalous.

So he sat in the library with his math textbook and notebook in front of him, the numbers dancing on the page as he stared. None of the problems he had for homework were of any importance to him — the more crucial issue was the debacle all this put him in.

Charlie's friend Fulton is two minutes late to study hall, toting a textbook from one of his electives, he likely had to go and grab it. He takes his usual seat across a table from Charlie, noting he has that "word vomit" look. Fulton mentally prepares for the potential barrage of information, knowing he wouldn't be getting any work done for the next 40 minutes.

"Charlie, what is it?" He asks bluntly.
"How did you know?"
"Your face."
Charlie chuckles at Fulton's comment. "Okay... look, a lot of shit went down at the dance, after, and apparently it's obvious that i'm losing my mind."
"Care to elaborate on said 'shit?'"
"Using 'shit' is wrong... all I know is that this moral dilemma only seems to get bigger each time I see Crystal."
"So something happened. Did she initiate it?"
"She told me she loved me, and she kissed me. But those happened in different memory cycles — she knew me in the first, not the second. But she knew she loved me somehow."
Fulton doesn't know what to say at first. His understanding of Charlie's situation was already limited, forget his knowledge of amnesia, so trying to figure out even what Charlie meant was difficult.

"Does Chris know?"
"No... but Carrie knows about the kiss." Charlie brings his hands to his face, hiding in embarrassment. "I also failed to mention that I shared Crystal's bed for the night. God, I am an idiot. But I was tired, and she was upset, and I just wanted to hold her so she wouldn't cry..."
"Are you in love with her?"
"Of course I am. And don't start with me about it, I'm ashamed enough as is."
"I wasn't going to."
Fulton knows the way Charlie responded with no hesitation means it's serious. He really was in deep shit. But to him, there were some solutions to the problem, namely one that would absolve him of a lot of guilt and keep him happy. It was almost preposterously obvious.

"Would you marry her?" Fulton asks.
"...I don't see how that's a relevant question."
"Just answer it, man. You're always so stubborn."
"It's also a loaded question."
"Are you so serious about your feelings for her that you would?" Fulton restates his question.
"Terrifyingly enough, absolutely. I still don't see how this is relevant."
Charlie said what Fulton needed to hear.

"Charlie, you love her so much that you'll be miserable if you can't have her. It's too late to stop it."
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
"Pursue your happiness."
"...Fulton, my happiness is impossible. There's no answers to any of these moral questions except 'don't even go there.'"
"Where there are no answers, you must get your own. And you can either pick with your happiness in mind or not."

Charlie was a little baffled by Fulton's words, not knowing his friend could be so wise and rational, but he believes what he says. He was handling this the best he could, continuing to do "the next right thing" whenever possible — whatever would make Crystal happy was always his choice. And while sometimes that meant sacrificing his own happiness, it wasn't often that they had different wishes.