you got the devil in you - Rafe Cameron

XVII - where'd all the time go?

"Oh my god what!" Sarah shouts jumping up in excitement.
"You got into New York Uni?" Pope says with a huge smile on his face.
"Yeah." Everyone jumps up and hugs me.
"I'm so happy for you." John B says.
"Thank you guys."
"Wait what's gonna happen with us?" Kie says letting go. Everyone else also lets go.

"What do you mean?" I say.
"You're gonna move to New York right? So what's gonna happen with our friendship. Weren't we all meant to be pogues for life dude."
"Nothing is gonna change Kie. I promise you. It doesn't matter whether i'm next door or half way across the world from you all. Nothing is gonna change I swear." Kie smiles.
"Although I really am gonna miss all you guys, a lot."
"We're gonna miss you too." Pope says.
"Well enough of all this emotional shit. This calls for a celebration. We are all getting shit faced tonight okay. To celebrate the successes of Miss Shaine James." JJ says looking at everyone.
"Duh." John B says.
"I'm in." Kie says.

While the Pogues and I were all hanging out, Rafe crossed my mind again. I feel guilty that I haven't told him yet. I mean I know I mentioned to him that I might be moving if I got into uni but I guess now I know I have got in, it means for definite that i'm going. I tried to keep putting it off but the more time that goes by, the more I keep thinking about it.
"Hey guys i'm gonna just go home for a little bit first but i'll be back soon." I say.
"Okay." Everyone says.

As I walk away, I grab my phone out of my pocket.

Rafe

Meet me at the beach.

I message Rafe. I walk to the beach and I sat on the ramp for a while and I start to think maybe Rafe isn't coming or hasn't seen my message because he hasn't replied. Just as i'm about to stand up and leave, I see him stood there infront of me.
"Hey." He says.
"Hi." He sits down next to me.
"What's wrong? Why did you want me to meet you?" He asks.
"I need to tell you something." I say. I struggle to find the right way to say it. He sits waiting for me to continue.
"Well uh, do you uh remember when we were talking about colleges and all that before and I said about wanting to go to a university in New York?" I say. I kept stuttering because I was so nervous to tell him.
"Uh yeah, yeah I remember."
"Well I sent an application once I got my grades back and I got a letter from the university today and it said that I have been accepted so I now have a place."

We sit in silence for a moment.
"You got in?"
I nod.
Oh no. What have I done?
"I'm so fucking proud of you right now." He says grabbing me into a hug. I laugh. Thank god. I was so scared he was going to be mad.
"Wait, so you're moving to New York?" He says letting go.
"Well yeah that's the point. I mean, I can't really live here and go to a university in New York ."
"Shit."
"What?" Okay, never mind back to nervous.
"Nothing it's just- you're uh gonna be so far from here, and from me."
"Yeah, I know but I think maybe it's a good thing. You know to just get away from Outerbanks for a while, a fresh start somewhere new."

He nods.
"I guess so yeah."
"Are you okay?" I say.
"Yeah no i'm fine. I just don't know how i'm gonna cope without you."
"Don't be silly. You'll be fine. And it's not like i'm completely disappearing, i'm still gonna be there for you. Just a phone call away."
He smiles but weakly.
"I gotta go back before JJ takes all the beer." I say trying to make him laugh or smile atleast.
"Yeah." Rafe says. He seems upset now.
I stare at him and he looks at me. He places his hand on my cheek before kissing my forehead.
"Bye." I say.
"Bye Shay."

I walk down the ramp and I look back and Rafe just stays there. I go back to the Chateau and JJ already has the hot tub on disco mode.
"Hello, guest of honour."
"Alley oop." Sarah says.
"Would you please aboard the cats ass ma'am." Pope says grabbing my hand.
"In my clothes?" I say laughing.
"Yeah, why not. It's a celebration." JJ says.
We all party for hours and hours. It's like two am and I finally head home. As soon as I get to my bed I fall straight asleep.

"S?" I hear and a knock on my door.
"Yes?" I mumble into my pillow.
"Someone's here to see you." Nathan says.
I look up and see my mom at the door.
"Mom?" I say. I feel the tears in my eyes.
"Hey Shaine." She walks over to the bed and she holds me in a tight hug, just like she did when I was younger.
"I'm so sorry mom, i'm so sorry." I say crying.
"No, don't apologise. It's not your fault. You have every right to have been mad at me."
"No." I say shaking my head. She wipes the tears from my cheeks and holds her hands there.
"I love you baby, i'm so sorry I haven't shown it."
"I love you too mom." I say and she pulls me into a hug.

——————

Well, the next few months we're made for me to remember.
The Pogues and I spent all day, every day together. We went on boat trips, had lots of parties, went on lots of drives to absolutely nowhere in particular. We were just teens who were making the most of what little time is left before I move on to my next chapter of life.

My mom stayed in Outerbanks and she said for good this time which I actually believe now. She's been here for a long time now. We finally got our bond back which I've wanted for years and years. My mom, Nathan and I were all a little family again, It's the most amazing feeling knowing you have a family.

Nathan and I couldn't be closer. If anyone told me at the start of summer that Nathan and I would be this close, I would have laughed in their faces. But i'm glad because I never realised how much I needed a brother in my life.

I saw Rafe sometimes but only at parties. We haven't really hung out or anything since I told him about me moving to New York but I guess it's understandable. We aren't friends or dating, we just share a civil bond and engaged in civil conversation when needed.