If only he didn't.

CHAPTER 24, IF ONLY HE DIDN'T.

You want to scream for help. But you're afraid of the consequences. You mumble to yourself, "What if they ask what happened?...", there is no way you can tell them the truth. Who would be able to forgive you? Who would believe that this all was an accident?! A soft whisper comes from behind you, but you ignore it. A cry comes from behind you, but you ignore it too. You cover your face with your arms as the tears stream from your eyes. This is just...Not real! None of this is real! Why won't you just wake up?! Why is it so difficult?! Everything is dark. The shadows all fall around you. You don't understand what is happening. Your head feels light yet again. You sink into a crevice in your mind; a blank, empty, white room. 

Your shoulders feel heavy. A familiar voice whispers to you, something unspeakable. Your eyes widen. "Follow me..." the voice tells you "It's the only way out...Everything will be okay." Everything will be okay. You pick up your sister's cold body. You lift it down the staircase, you feel as if eyes gaze at you from multiple, if not all angles and places. You keep your eyes on the ground. You hear a familiar door sliding, as the voice tell you "Walk carefully..." You feel cold as a gust of wind passes by you, and the light outside engulfs you. Still, your eyes are on the ground. You walk more, you listen to the sound of the grass and feel the wind. You hear the leaves and you feel the sun setting. You try to ignore it all. It's all just a dream. 

You lay down your sister's body and look up at the sky for the first time. Minuscule rays of light shine through cracks in the leaves. You finally admire the beauty, trying to savor the moment. You think to yourself, "Even if this is all real, you can just look at the leaves, and everything will be okay..."  You hear pacing, the crunching of grass. You might've seen a figure pick an object off the ground..But you're not sure anymore. You just want to keep staring at the leaves. Everything will be okay...Everything will be okay...Everything will be okay, SUNNY. 

You hear shuffling, dragging, creaking, pulling, struggling. Next to you, something is happening. You refuse to look away from the beauty of the leaves. Your head feels light again. You bite your tongue, in hopes of being able to wake up unlike the other attempts, but it's no use...No matter what, you're still here. You feel a cold hand tightly squeezing one of yours, you try to let the hand go, but the hand squeezes even tighter, unwilling to let yours go. The hand drags you backwards. You look up and see your best friend for the first time today, it's BASIL. Tears fall from his tired eyes as he looks ahead. Finally, you realize, none of this is a dream. All of this is real. 

You and BASIL slowly step into the house, you look back at the trees and see IT. The light engulfs IT, and IT sways in the wind. For a moment...You feel fine. You despise yourself for feeling this way...Was that all? Is everything going to be okay? Suddenly, your best friend stops. You look up at him and his eyes. Instead of tired eyes, you see his eyes completely wide open, staring at...S-SOMETHING..You turn your eyes toward it as well. You wish you didn't. An eye meets yours, following you in every direction you move, still looking into your soul no matter how far away you go. Your heart sinks into your stomach...You- You shouldn't have looked back. You shouldn't have looked back at all. You just shouldn't...Have...Looked. You are so foolish. 

A few minutes later, maybe an hour later, maybe a few hours. Time moved slow, oh-so slow..5 children are in a backyard. You stand silently behind the majority. Your best friend acts surprised and in a state of sorrow, and your best friend WAS in a state of sorrow but not surprised at all, why didn't you do anything? Your neighbor, same age as you, couldn't understand at all, completely unable to process what was occurring but immediately kneels over to your crush, why didn't you do anything? Your crush profusely vomits from nausea caused by the horror, dropping to the ground and crying, why didn't you do anything? In front of you stands an older boy, same age as your sister, he stands, staring at your sister's hanging body, he stood in place as if shell-shocked before his eyes suddenly moved in a panic as tears blurred his vision and trickled down his face, why didn't you do anything?

You could've done something, but you didn't. You could've stopped all of this, but you didn't. You didn't do anything to help.

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The once-eager boy's face had turned into fear and confusion "W-What? You- You, what?...I-I'm sorry, I-" his face and skin slightly turned pale and he himself turned silent. 

The older boy's face had completely changed into anger, disgust and disappointment "You...What the hell was wrong with you?! WHAT?! I know you were young, we were all young, I can understand but...Wh- What?! Tch...I- You- Well, no use arguing, is there? Merde!" He raised his hand to try to hit the pale boy but pulled it back down and instead left quickly, as the other boy followed. 

The girl, pale boy and injured boy were left. 

"S-SUNNY! I- Why couldn't you- I don't understand...I-.." The girl wiped her tears, as tears streamed down her face, but she tried to be as quiet as possible "I-I'm so pissed off at you- But it's been so long...I-I just can't! I don't want to suffer again..." The girl sighed and left the room swiftly, still wiping her tears. 

The injured boy awakens, the pale and injured look at each other, and smile, and cry, but still looking at each other, knowing that they won't have to suffer as much anymore living with such of a burden. 

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The thing is, MARI could've grown up. She could've grown up to graduate. She could've grown up to marry the love of her life. She could've grown up to have children, or adopt many pet children. She could've grown up to live the rest of her life with anything. She could've lived a nice, peaceful life full of happy things. She could've retired. The things some of us dream of seeing once again wouldn't have been dreamed if it never disappeared. We all could've had a happy life, and we will have a happy life, but living with the burden knowing one of your friends could've lived and enjoyed your life with you. The burden of death, knowing that many things could've gone right if one thing didn't go wrong. 

No matter where you are. No matter who you are, AUBREY, KEL, SUNNY, HERO, BASIL, anyone else. At least once in your life, you'd think;

If only he didn't.