To The Hellfire (Will Ramos)

32. I Can't Do This

"Isla you can't make that decision for him, is that what you want to have the abortion? And that's it. Without telling Will, you can't." Austin said and I let out a sigh.

"I wanted to, but I've been struggling a little so I have been spending some time with a priest and talking through my fears." I said. I head over to my fridge and show him the drawing Michel gave me.

"A student of mine drew this and it makes me think this could be my family with Will and you guys." I said with a small smile on my face.

"Well Isla you've got my support you know that. Mike, Adam, Andrew and I support you. Also Will although he's going to be a baby daddy! I'm going to have fun teasing him." Austin said with an evil laugh.

"Now now broski! Don't tease him too much." I said with a giggle, the phone went off and we saw Mike was face timing us.

"Yo Mike what's up?" Austin asks.

"Are you in Italy man? How's my girl?" Mike asks Austin, while he motions me over and I appear in the video.

"I'm good! How's it going? I miss you, Yager!" I said with a small smile.

"I miss you too mini Archey! I miss my cuddle buddy!" Mike said with a smile, he moved outside.

"Why haven't you been answering Will? He's literally moping like a lost golden retriever!" Mike says and it made me giggle.

"Well I've been so busy that my phone was dead for two weeks and then I've been a bit busy." I said, and Austin nodded.

"Hope to see you soon sweetie!" Mike said and we disconnect the line as he had sound check to head to.

"Fucking hell Isla! How do you expect me to keep this secret from Will?" Austin whined while laying his head down on the table.

"Like you kept my going away party a secret." I said with a laugh and he nodded in agreement.

"Anything planned?" Austin asks me.

"Yes I actually have a doctor's appointment since I'm five weeks pregnant." I said and he nodded.

"I'll come with you." Austin said and I nodded, while we both went to bed because it was a long day.

Will

It was hard not being able to talk with Isla, but at least I knew Austin was with her now and she was safe.

Why would she be avoiding me? Did I do something? I never knew I could miss someone as much as I'm missing her. I laid on my bunk and looked up trying my hardest to get my mind off her.

Until my phone went off and saw it was Austin.

"Sup Archey?" I asked on the phone.

"Sup Ramos!" Austin said back and I sighed.

"How is she man? Is she angry at me? Did she see something on Instagram and she's avoiding me?" I asked him rapidly. Austin slowed me down.

"Oh man you're whipped! Its quite the contrary her phone has been dead for two weeks she just literally charged it today." Austin says, it made me sigh in relief.

"How's she doing?" I asked him and Austin sighs deeply.

"She's missing you terribly!" Austin said, we were talking about some stuff.

"I should go get some rest got a show tomorrow, I'll call her tomorrow." I said.

"Goodnight baby daddy!" Austin says while hanging up the phone.

Wait what? Baby daddy what did he mean? Oh never I'll ask him tomorrow, I rolled over and fell asleep. It wasn't unusual, we would tease each other with names and stuff. I didn't think anything of it.

Isla

I had still been avoiding Will and today Austin and I were heading to the doctor's appointment.

"Are you scared?" Austin asks while he tapped his feet against the ground, I found myself thinking about Will and how he would react?

"A little bit yes, especially when he finds out about this." I said pointing at my little bump forming.

"Miss Archey?" The nurse called and we walked inside and I felt a little emotional, I wished that Will was with me so he could share this with me. Dr Conti came in.

"How are you Isla?" Dr Conti asks while she pulls up my shirt and checks me over.

"Usually tired and drained, morning sickness is the worst." I told her.

Dr Conti notes that information down, while I laid on the bed while she began setting up the sonogram while Austin watched with an intrigued face.

"Congratulations your five weeks pregnant now, your baby's spine is developing and the neural system is also. Everything is looking good. Also in order to prevent a miscarriage I'm prescribing you folic acid and making sure your prenatal vitamins are being taken." Dr Conti said while she checked me over and gave me a scan of the sonogram. She wiped off the gel from my stomach.

It was an emotional moment that I started crying while Austin held me as I sobbed.

"Alright sis your emotions are all over the place, you're okay. I got you!" He whispers. Austin and I walked out, I had to have a follow up sometime.

We got home and Austin decided to get us some food, especially for me because I was eating for two. I hadn't been in touch with Will in a long time, I walked out onto my balcony and called Will.

He answered my FaceTime, I had red eyes because of crying.

"Hi baby girl! God I'm missing you." Will said and I started tearing up.

"I miss you too! How have you been?" I asked with a sigh, while wiping the tears.

"I've been worried about you, especially since you haven't answered in two weeks. I sent Austin to be with you." Will said. I nodded.

"I'm fine Will, Austin told me you wanted to drop off the tour." I said.

"I can't do this anymore, Isla." Will said. What did he mean he couldn't do this anymore? Now I'm pregnant with his baby, of course he couldn't do it.

"Do w-what?" I stutter while trying my hardest to keep it together.

"It's so hard being long distance from you, especially I feel like you're withdrawing from me, Isla." Will said with a sigh running his hand through his curly brown hair.

"What do you want to do? B-break up with me? Have you found someone else?" I asked him, I sighed.

"No Isla I haven't! I just want to hold you and I can't get to do that. I feel like you're hiding something from me. I can see it on your face. Have you met someone else?" Will asked me and I shook my head.

"No I haven't. If you want space I'll give it to you! Goodbye Will." I said and hung up the call. I sighed and threw my phone on the couch, I sank down on my chair and felt tears streaming down my face.

Will didn't want me anymore, I cradled my belly.

"What shall we do baby? Your father might not want us. But I promise to be the best mother possible and give you all the love you need." I whisper, while feeling tears streaming down my face.

The door opened and I quickly wiped away the tears, so Austin didn't suspect anything.

"Foods here, shall we eat?" Austin asked me and I nodded with a fake smile. Whilst eating food my mind went to the conversation with Will, I knew this was going to be hard.

And I knew eventually I had to tell Will, but for now this was my secret.