Dear Hoy,

Entry number 4

Dear, Hoy

It's been a long time since I've seen you. To be honest, nagulat din ako na may ganitong diary nga pala ako para sayo.

A lot has happened. We've grown apart and what we had passed us by.

I still miss those days and I want you to know that I will always cherish every single time na nakasama kita.

I remembered I cried when I found out I was pregnant when I am planning on asking you if we can make our relationship official.

I tried calling you a few times but that night hindi kita matawagan. I wanted to know what will you say the very moment I found out that I was pregnant with my ex.

I guess, ours are not really meant.

I remembered when I had a chance to call you after few weeks and you were crying over the phone asking me kung pwedeng ikaw na lang.

"Ako na lang. Pwedeng ako na lang? Kaya kong maging ako na lang," were the words that broke my heart.

But I don't want to be selfish and tie you on to a situation where I think you are not prepared.

I told you I am getting married and you cried a lot more asking if I can reconsider.

To be honest, I almost say yes. I loved you so much back then. But again, I apologize if I can't let you suffer because of my past actions.

Hoy, It's been a while. I already have two loving kids. What I pray now is for you to finally let go of those "what ifs" and learn to open your heart to someone.

I genuinely want you to have someone as weird as you that will accept and love you.

Hoy, kamusta ka na? You will always and will still be my "always".

Crazy writing an entry after 8 years,
Ako