"Hey, Connor!"
I slowed down and grinned at the short-legged, floppy-haired boy huffing to catch up with me. He grinned back, lugging what seemed to be a guitar that seemed way too big for him on his back.
He returned my grin, smile shining as bright as the sun itself as he tugged at my shirt.
"Connor... thing is I... uh... I got something... uh... I got something I wanna... I wanna show you something."
He blushed, cheeks tinted a pretty pink colour, eyes darting around, looking at anywhere but me. And thank god, because I could feel a blush rising as well.
Quickly striding onwards so as to avoid him seeing my reddened face, I cleared my throat, managing to once again press down on the feelings that pretty face and mop of fluffy hair pulled out of nowhere.
Not now, Connor.
"Let's... uh... let's go? What do you want to... uh... show me?"
Damn Evan and his stupid smile.
Evan bounced up like an excited puppy, dragging me to an empty music room. It was very cramped, and someone shoved a drum kit in the corner, gathering dust. If it was anyone else that pulled me inside to go to this dingy place, I would have flat out punched them for wasting my time. But Evan... Evan could lead me straight into the mouth of a volcano and I would still follow him.
Evan invited me to sit on one of those mildly uncomfortable plastic school chairs, and began to take out his guitar.
"I actually... um... I actually wrote a uh... a song. And I... um... I want you to... uh... I want you to hear it."
Evan smiled softly at his guitar, beginning to hum lightly and fine-tune it. He glanced up at me, eyes sparkling, mind seeming to be cast off to somewhere far away.
"Would you mind? Listening to it? Telling me if it's good?"
I realized I had been staring at his dimples for way too long, so I hastily looked away.
"Uh... yeah no sure... I don't... I don't mind."
I grinned sheepishly. Evan seemed to be the only one who can make me smile. When I'm around him, it's as if his happiness is contagious. He's like my own little ray of sunshine.
Where did that come from?
To be honest, I know exactly where that came from.
I blushed. Again.
Damn you, Evan.
"This is the first time I've really played any of my songs to... well... anyone, really."
Evan looked away from his guitar and up at me.
"So you'll be the first."
I smiled. My cheek muscles were starting to hurt, god knows I don't smile this much around anyone else.
Clearing his throat and glancing up and me one more time, he strummed the first chord and began.
When we know something is true
Beyond question or doubt
There's no particular point
In pointing it out
Blue is the color of sky
'Cause mothers all worry
And old people die
A phone rings, a bee stings
It's something you don't need to hear
It's just clear
Why go stating the obvious?
It's so painfully obvious
How could you miss
Something that's this plain to see?
When it's glaring, and staring
Right at you
So obviously
Sometimes the words
We tend to withhold
Are exactly the words
Someone needs to be told
But oh, thinking they know
We never say
"I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you..."
Why go stating the obvious?
It's so painfully obvious
How could you miss
Something that's this plain to see?
When it's glaring, and staring
Right at you
So obviously
His voice floated melodiously across the cramped room, lilting and soft. At times, he glanced up at me, eyes still glimmering with that far-away sparkle.
My heart was nowhere near beating at a normal, healthy pace for a human being. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks, and I was just short of covering my face with my hands and curling up in a ball to squeal. When he started singing "I love you" my breath caught in surprise and I almost fell off the chair.
Finished, he looked up at me, eyes wide, mouth stretched into a wide grin, ears tinted red from concentration.
"You like it?"
A soft question floated across the air. I blinked.
Like it? I love it.
For god's sake, I love him.
I managed a small nod, unable to stop the slight red that tinted my cheeks.
"Do you think she'll like it?"
My smile froze. 'She'? Who's 'she'?
Evan was still oblivious to the tension in the room and my strangely strained smile.
"Oh yeah, forgot to tell you, this song... it's for your... um... your sister. Zoe. You know her? Of course you know her. Anyways, I think I should add a verse about her. Did you know she draws stars on the cuffs on her jeans? And she still fills out the quizzes on those teen magazines?"
My heart stopped beating, and my smile disappeared, replaced by my carefully sculptured 'neutral' expression. Inside, I was screaming. Zoe? This song... is for Zoe?
"Um... yeah, sure. Add a verse about her. I... uh... I need to go do... uh... stuff."
I couldn't help the venom creeping into my voice. Evan barely glanced at me, acknowledging my lame excuse with a wave of his hand, not even glancing up at me, to engrossed in writing his song. To her.
Not to me.
I scoffed at myself. Why would he want you? He probably just befriended you to get closer to Zoe.
But I couldn't get his shining smile and wide eyes out of my mind. I kicked a locker in frustration. I felt tears welling up. No. I couldn't cry here. I couldn't let Evan know the reason I felt like tearing the whole school down.
So, I did what I always did.
I ran.
I ran like the world was ending, like the sky would fall. I ran until my lungs were screaming and my legs felt like they were going to fall. But still. Still I couldn't rid myself of the pain tearing a hole into my chest, spreading, cracking.
Cracking my facade. The act that I didn't care.
Because I cared. I cared so much.
I cared too much.
Why? Why her? Why not me?
Of course it's not you. Why would it be you?
At last I was home. Wildly ripping the door open, then slamming it shut, I sprinted upstairs to the safety of my room, tears unable to stop leaking.
Shutting the door to my room, I stared at the wall, chest heaving, eyes glassy, face twisted with the pain. The butterflies in my stomach turned to daggers, and a scream clawed it's way up my throat.
I couldn't hold the tsunami back any more. I slid down the door, sobs wracking my body. My brain was still unrelentingly replaying his voice, hauntingly soft against the waves of pain, anger and suffering drowning me.
Why had nobody warned me that love would be so cruel?
How could you miss... something that's this plain to see...
****
haha pain is gre a t -
VOUS LISEZ
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FanfictionThis is my dump 2.0, where all of the oneshots are from fandoms I have less ideas for/write less of. Grab a piece of chocolate or granola bar or whatever your favourite snack is, hide away from the real world for a bit and (hopefully) enjoy my shit.
