Patiently Waiting For Jared Holmes | on-going

XXIV

24.

A million and one thoughts ran through my head as I stared into eyes that looked just like mine. I saw my reflection in them, shock mixed with horror stared back at me through them. He looked no different from the last time I saw him.

A whole other life flashed through my eyes. One where this man was my father, a life that wasn't so full of hurt and abandonment. One where he was man enough to fight for the child he made.

I was stupid to entertain the notion, but yet my imagination betrayed me anyway.

Because that wasn't how life worked. Life simply wasn't that fair. He hadn't fought for me. All that he'd done was sneak around with my mom for a year of my life and taken me to the fucking park an hour a week. As soon as those secret visits stopped, he never even bothered.

Leaving my life to pan out exactly the way that it had.

Lonely.

I opened my mouth to say something, then entirely forgot the alphabet or how to even put together a sentence, and slammed it back closed.

How was this even possible? He didn't even live here.

He spoke again, calling me by my name and finally breaking through the white noise that filled my mind. I shook my head to brush off whatever I was feeling and took a giant step back once common sense had kicked my ass in gear.

"You recognise me?" I asked, puzzled. The last time he had seen me, truly, was when I was still a child. I looked nothing like I had back then, I had a whole new face now.

It just wasn't possible.

"I could ask you the same question." My...no, not my dad. Not really. Callum replied, a flicker of amusement in his words teased me.

A memory hit me, one from christmas eve.

"You knew who I was in the mall." It wasn't a question. I knew that he'd recognised me, I can't believe I tricked myself into thinking any different. I had convinced myself and Jared that it was all in my head.

My eyes widened when the reality of this situation slammed into me. What the fuck was I doing?

"Wait, are you following me?"

He flushed red, only slightly, out of embarrassment. Of being caught out and remained silent.

I was horrified. Oh my god, he was following me.

"What do you want from me?" I took another step back, the hairs on the back of my neck stood and anxiety pricked at my skin. Though part of me told me that somehow I knew deep down, that he wasn't following me for a bad reason.

"Why are you on this side of town when you're supposed to be in school on the other side?" He asked me instead of answering my question.

"How do you know where my school is?" I ignored his question. Who did he think he was, my dad? He was a stranger, I should have felt uneasy that he knew that. "What are you doing in Virginia? You live in Washington! And why are you following me around town like some creep!"

He was silent for a moment, his gaze on my shaking hands. I shoved them into my pockets and diverted my gaze to a woman walking by with a stroller. She had a shopping bag balanced in one arm and used her other to push her baby.