Arcfall (Male Reader Insert)

Chapter Forty Nine

"Do you need anything? Water maybe?" You asked. Pyrrha shook her head. "Okay. The others will be here soon. Do you want me to send them to you?" Pyrrha shook her head again, eyes locked on the floor. "Okay. I'll tell them you want to be alone for a while. I'll check up on you in the morning. And if you need anything before then, I'll be downstairs." You turned to leave, taking two full steps before Pyrrha grabbed you and turned you around, hugging you tight as she buried her face in your neck, crying harder than before, a shaky voice barely escaping her lips,

"It's not my fault..."

"Of course, it isn't!" You responded instantly, pulling her into the hug tighter. "It wasn't your fault at all. He decided to act. And for what little it's worth, I'm sorry that you have to remember it. It happens to all of us eventually, but knowing that doesn't make it easier." You held Pyrrha like you held your sisters for what felt like a lifetime before she finally released you. "Do you want me to bring you food later?" you asked.

"No, thank you," Pyrrha replied hoarsely, "I don't think I can keep anything down."

"Okay. And remember, I'm right downstairs if you need anything," you said before turning to leave.

"(Y/N)?" Pyrrha's voice called, drawing your head back into her doorframe. "Thank you," She finally said.

"My pleasure. And when you are ready to talk, don't forget that you have Jaune and the rest of your team too," You replied with a small smile before heading downstairs.

***

"Hey," You said as Jaune dragged himself into the tavern, a thousand-yard stare plastered across his face. He took a seat across from you as the seconds ticked by before his brain finally registered that you were speaking to him,

"Hey." Jaune opened his mouth to say more but closed it after a few seconds. Eventually, he continued, "How's Pyrrha?"

"Resting," you replied, "She wants to be alone right now and I don't blame her. What about you?"

"I'm terrified of being alone right now," Jaune said, "I can't imagine it. I'm scared to even go to sleep if we're being honest."

"Trauma is different for everyone. I wish I could tell you what will help but you'll have to find that out yourself," you explained.

"What about you? I know you don't like to talk about Thorne-" Jaune started before you interrupted him, throwing your flask down on the table. Jaune stared at it for a while, a full minute passing before he finally decided to speak again, "I... don't want that."

"I wasn't offering it. Just answering your question," You replied, tucking your flask back in your pocket. "After Thorne, I was in full survival mode. Life or death. But when I was finally safe I drank. I did a whole lot of drinking at this place," you continued, gesturing at the building around you. "I drank, I trained, and I grew close with Hel. And that was life." Jaune didn't reply, his eyes had drifted to the table in front of him. You sat in comfortable silence for a while before Jaune inevitably fell asleep. Nora and Ren returned not long after, heading up to their rooms. Lastly, Hel arrived, bringing cold air into the tavern as she opened the door, melting snow dripping off her body. You wrapped your Cloak around Jaune to keep him warm. Hopefully, that would be enough to keep him asleep. Hel shot you a pitying look as you scooped him up.

"Don't say it," you said as you carried Jaune to his room.

"I didn't say anything!" Hel objected.

"Good. Let's keep it that way. I don't want to hear it," You replied as you fumbled with Jaune's door. Hel stepped in front of you, pushing it open for you so that you could lay him down in bed.

"It's just-" she started.

"Oh gods, here we go."

"You know it's not your fault, right?" Hel finished. You sighed as the two of you left Jaune in peace.

"I made a mistake leaving that boy in one piece. If I had done something she wouldn't have had to," you replied.

"Give me a fucking break," Hel said, "Letting the boy live was the right thing to do and the only thing to do. Even if you knew he would try something you were still right to leave him down there."

"What?" You asked.

"We're hunters, (Y/N) it's about protecting people, not putting them down. And you did the right thing trying to let that kid get away alive. Even if it backfired," Hel said. You swallowed hard.

"I know. But shit, sometimes things go bad. It's different when you have students. I'm not sure if they were ready for this."

"Me either. But they're shadowing me. Not you. And I didn't say shit either."

"I need some air," you said before grabbing the first bottle you saw from behind the counter.

"Yeah, I could use some too," Hel replied as she followed you out into the night.

***

You enjoyed the snow in silence with Hel, passing the bottle between you on occasion.

"I think the kids are going to be alright," Hel said, breaking the silence, "I can hear Pyrrha laughing. I think Nora's with her?" You shrugged before responding,

"Your ears are better than mine, it seems. And they were always going to be okay. Just a question of how long it was going to take to get there."

"That's poetic," Hel responded. A long silence punctuated her words before she spoke again, "Can I ask you something personal?"

"You can, but I reserve the right not to answer."

"Are you happy?" Hel delivered. The question knocked you off your feet. A long silence grew between you before Hel spoke again, "I mean, are you okay? Did you get there?"

"What brought this on?" you asked.

"These kids. They think the world of you. Jaune and Nora especially. All they do is talk about you. But you? You barely talk about your life. About yourself," Hel answered. You thought for a while before taking a deep breath.

"No. I never got back to being okay. I thought I did a couple of times but I guess all the stuff I went through kept catching up with me. It gets smaller. Easier. But it never really goes away, you know?" You answered. Hel nodded as you spoke, "But somewhere along the line I ran into this girl and we talked and I realized that I wasn't doing what I needed to do to get better. It's not about whats up here," you made a show of tapping your temple, "but about what you do. Guilt and trauma have to be fought through actions. Not thoughts."

"And you finally figured out what you need to do?" Hel asked. The silence grew again. Louder. More palpable.

"Gods I hope so. I'm desperate to be right for once. If this isn't the right thing, then I don't think I'll be able to go back to whatever the right thing is," you said before a laugh rolled out of you and into the night air. Hel did not laugh with you.