Regrets Of A Second Male Lead

Chapter Thirty: The Despairing Side Of The Fight Between Married Couple (3)

He used to fly about in society with fancy talk, but he didn't know when he became so clumsy when talking about his inner thoughts. Certainly, it was awkward and difficult to say what he was thinking about.

"Father..."

Abel was moved to tears, overshadowing his worries. The lovely child rubbed his cheek against his father's shoulder. It was because he felt the sincerity in those rough remarks. They were just poorly arranged sentences, but what was contained in them was warm affection. Gerard whispered softly in his son's ear.

"Abel... Father likes everything about Abel."

"Me too! I love the fact that Father is my Father!"

Gerard kissed his son's forehead, who responded with unblemished affection even though his words were clumsy.

The kiss held a lot of meanings. He was guilty towards the child who had been heartbroken by his slip of tongue. Love for his only son.

Not only that, but also the noble determination that he would never hurt his child how his parents hurt him.

***

When Chloe heard an unexpected story from Abel in the carriage, she felt complicated. Gerard, who was outside the carriage, was just as much a mess as she was.

-I know you don't love me! However, why Abel? Why do you make Abel feel like he isn't loved? What on earth did you say to him?! He's your son!

His wife's voice, who retorted that he didn't love her last night, lingered in his ears. He was slightly irritated to be faced with another unanswered matter again.

'Love...'

He even wanted to ask others. What is this d*mn nuisance called love? If what he was doing was not considered love, then what on earth is love?

He was putting her first in respect, care, consideration, and even pressing down his own feelings. And yet, if this wasn't love... He didn't know anymore. Love that makes the whole world sing? It was simply too difficult for him.

Was it because the word love had never meant anything positive in Gerard's life? In fact, he was one of the few people in the world who couldn't understand why people praised love as beautiful.

In his life, love was nothing more than twisted obsession, suffocating control, and a burden to others.

-If your eyes were blue, I would have loved you more.

-Do you want to be loved? Then you have to do something which makes you deserve to be loved, Gerard.

-You like me? ...Actually, that makes me feel greatly pressured. Sorry.

Gerard shook his head faintly at the pieces of the past that crept up in his mind. He tried to pull himself from the past. But the more he did so, the more memories entangled themselves with him. As if it was a swamp that he couldn't escape from.

***

Gerard's family was normal. No, it was only Gerard who thought his family was normal.

His family was similar to other nobles who were involved in political marriages.

He didn't want to pretend to be hurt and pity himself, as there were a lot of things that he had enjoyed until now. However, the weird thing in his family was that there was a large picture of a dead man in his mother's room. Her mother, Helena, was originally his uncle's fiancée.

His father's brother, Raphael Blanchett, was a promising young Marquis. He didn't only excel in politics and economics, but also as a swordsman. His bright blonde hair and blue eyes were said to have driven the young women in society at that time.