FEMME FATALE . QUINN FABRAY

chapter twenty six . visits with mother

By the end of the week, it was official that Quinn Fabray was dating Sam Evans. Or something along those terms. Quinn had always been one to dodge labels, at least in Nat's experience. It was strange, feeling heartbreak for the first time- it was aching and painful and everlasting. But the strange part, was that Nat didn't feel horrible. She didn't want to throw herself off a cliff or throw up her heart or run away until her heart exploded. Maybe a week ago, it would be a different story, but right now, her heart felt numb and cold.

Nat wondered if her heart was just not built for love. She thought about how even though her heart didn't feel as broken as it should, maybe it had been breaking since she started hanging out with Quinn, or worse, it could have always been broken and she was just incapable of receiving love. Either way, Nat was just confused and hurt- she got Sue's permission to take a week of school and so she spent time around the trailer park.

She noted the people coming and going, entering and leaving, running after doing their misdeeds and wrongdoings. Once in a while, there was a gunshot or a group of people yelling at each other incoherently. Maybe it was her vulnerable position at the moment, her heart basically bleeding out, but Nat felt unsafe. She could recognise that feeling, the quirk of adrenaline in her fingers and toes, the twist of her stomach, the sweat getting caught on her brow. Maybe her vulnerability had caused a chance for Nat actually feel all her feelings, even the bad things like fear and anxiety, instead of being so excited and happy with the fact that Quinn brushed her arm in the hallway, that negative emotions just melted away.

Nat considered her options. Assuming this feelings thing was going to become a regular issue, she didn't want to live in fear, so there was two options. She could try and move out of the trailer park and into a place of her own, which would be tricky to afford considering her horrible financial situation and if she could find somewhere cheap enough, it would still be in a place that would be just as bad as this. The second option, was one that also meant putting herself out there. She could call up Finn and ask him if the offer was still standing and she could move in with his family. It would be a big change for everyone involved- everyone adjusting to Nat and her emotional state of mind. Finn and Kurt would be living with her... seeing her have breakdowns over the smallest things. She would have to work out a relationship with Carol, the mother who wants so bad to look after Nat and keep her safe. She would have to figure out how to have a relationship with Burt, and get used to having a father figure that didn't lash out or run away or hurt her.

Without a second thought, Nat grabbed her phone and called him. Impulsive decisions usually work out, right?

Nat got into Finn's car with a small smile. She was happy to see her friend after a couple of days off, but she quickly noticed his sour mood. She poked his arm, "What's up? Are you okay?"

"Do you think I'm fat?"

Bursting into laughter, Nat slapped her knee, "Fat? You aren't fat, Finn! Feeling a little insecure, huh? Ha, ha... fat."

Finn went pink, "C'mon, don't laugh, Nattie. Glee's doing this play thing for the school and I have to take my shirt off and all the girls started saying stuff about how I eat sloppy joes for lunch and how it's fair that they judge me. I just feel ugly."

Nat, now feeling a little guilty, frowned, "Women are bitter people, Finn. After being judged and scrutinised for being even a little bigger for literally centuries, I think it's understandable as to why the girls think they have a right to comment. But they don't. If you like eating sloppy joes, eat them, as long as you like who you are, then who cares?"

"I do! I care! And when I asked the guys for advice, they told me that I need to change my diet and start exercising," Finn seemed to be rubbed the wrong way by the whole situation, "Sam eats like five things and that's it! He says he need to get into perfect shape to get with Quinn officially."