Put That Kid Down

Chapter Thirteen

"How do you expect to get anything done with Nurf being as soft-hearted as you are? Huh? You have to get mad or you won't do anything! Do it! Get mad!" He was in David's face now, and Gwen leaned in after him.

"Yeah! You need to be a real man, David! Don't you fuck this up for me now!"

"I won't do this mad," David insisted, and Max nodded, cutting off Gwen's irritated response.

"Good job, David. You just stood up for yourself." He smirked at the surprise on both counselors' faces, "Now you need to apply the lesson. When you're running a boot camp, you can't be a doormat like you usually are. You have to face up to Nurf and never back down."

"I can't do this alone," Gwen reminded him urgently when David looked ready to waver.

That was right. People were depending on him. David stood abruptly, energy renewed from the faith of his friend and his camper, and let one fist fall into his open palm, "Let's do this."

"Okay, wait - let's approach the target," Max coached, "And open dialogue with something to put him off-balance. You need to break him down if you want to make him an obedient slave of the Man-"

Gwen cut off David's impending protest with a flat, "He means a productive member of society, David."

Max ignored this, continuing blithely, "- and to do that, you'll need to attack the bad things he's proud of, like his bullying and his mom."

"His mom ?" David echoed incredulously.

"Yeah, she's a horrible influence," Gwen nodded at Max in acknowledgement of the point. "She's always sending him new knives and letters about how she's rising to the top of her jail's hierarchy."

"I'll give you an example," Max said to David, then turned back to Gwen with a sudden sneer, "I can tell you still call your mother mommy, Gwen; you've just got that spoiled, smothered look about you. Doesn't help that you're not doing anything productive with your life, but I guess Mommy's to blame for that, too, huh? What a fucking octopus she must have been to make you run all the way out to the crappiest camp this side of an active war zone just to escape her goddamn company. But you know what they say, takes a bitch to make a bitch."

She'd been a little too taken aback to respond, but the last jab seemed to hit home. Gwen abruptly came to her own defense, "What the fuck, Max-"

"Language!" David scolded both, but it was lost on them.

"Of course, Momma Bitch is probably disappointed you still haven't made anything of yourself - which is rich considering she's gotta be a stay-at-home mom, from the way you still cut the fucking crusts off your sandwiches." Eyes rolled in exasperation, "I'm fucking ten and I can eat my crusts, Gwen."

"Jesus Christ, Max, we get it-" Gwen was red in the face, fists clenched at her sides.

"No misunderstood asocial detective is coming to save you, Gwen!" Max pointed at her aggressively, brows furrowed as his volume rose, "Get your shit together!"

Finally, Gwen broke. "I just want to have his British babies!" she wept, fleeing the room. Max gestured after her in a tada gesture and bowed.

"That's how you break someone," he informed a wide-eyed David with a satisfied smugness.

"Maybe we should just set you on Nurf," David murmured, trying to take in how cruel they wanted him to act and not liking it one bit.

"Oh, get up and come on," Max commanded in the tone of a complaint, "I think it'll be easier with an authority figure."

They found Nurf giving Dolph an over-the-head wedgie by the archery range, and Max waved a hand as if to encompass the scene, "Tell him off, David. Be tough. Get mean."