eating tater tots with knives || pregame ndrv3 chatfic

28 || take a shot each time the word tortoise is used, i dare you /j || 28

kaito momota:
kay great but can we call it a red tortoise instead of a red herring?? just because
like
7 ft tortoise???

gonta gokuhara:
why, of course we can. an excellent and creative idea on your part.

kaito momota:
no homo tho i assume

gonta gokuhara:
Pardon?

kaede akamatsu:
ok shut up everyone i have news
the earliest we can leave is at, like 1 in the morning
suspiciously enough last night when i was looking for flights there wasnt anything but all of a sudden this morning theres a super convenient flight just in our price range that's at a time when the v3 asshats will probably be snoozing their lazy asses off

kaito momota:
sus

maki harukawa:
sus

gonta gokuhara:
Suspicious.

kaito momota:
FUCK U MAN YOU RUINED IT

kaede akamatsu:
I KNOW ITS SUS BUT AT THE SAME TIME WE KINDA GOTTA FLEE THE NATION??
I say we go for it

maki harukawa:
i mean i get its a bit weird that this flight suddenly popped up early this morning while you so happened to be looking for a flight... but i think it'd be safest if we just got out of here already.
v3 can't know where we are if we take a seedy plane to some random country!

kaede akamatsu:
well said.
so all we gotta do is plant the red tortoise and get out of here, and we have like all day to do that

gonta gokuhara:
i may have the perfect red tortoise for our use.
It will be ready by noon.

kaito momota:
oh shut it mystery man

. . .

"...we'll be planting a red tortoise before we leave," kaede explained, putting down her phone, "which is like a red herring, but appropriate with the theme of this story."

kirumi nodded. "that makes sense. we do have an oddly tortoise-centric motif."

"yeah, no shit. we leave at 1 in the morning. the others are gonna commit some heinous crimes in order to pack for us," kaede continued. "hope you don't mind having a broken window when you get back home."

kokichi sighed. "my parents will murder me when i get back home... and they'll double-murder me if they find out that the reason i left was to rescue my stupid boyfriend and his stupid friends.. ah. um. sorry. that was rude- you- y-you guys aren't stupid! just- i- i'm just fed up with this whole situation."

the girls nodded.

"it's okay, dude. we understand. this situation is tough. like, what are ya supposed to do when people get kidnapped?," kaede joked, "join em? take em to ikea? buy them a tortoise?"

kokichi forced a laugh. "good one. but... i don't want to joke right now. let's not lie to ourselves in such a serious situation..."

"oddly, i'm getting deja vu hearing you say that," kirumi remarked. "eh. it's prolly nothing. i know you're the truthful type, and you mean what you say... you're right. no lies, and no jokes. what matters is their safety."

"true. we gotta hope they aren't hurt. kokichi, when you first spotted v3, they had a fire, right? who's to say they aren't violent? if they are, we gotta get to our friends before anything bad happens," kaede mumbled, standing up and walking over to the fridge, opening it to find nothing but a half empty can of soda.
"gross... shuichi, you pig... didn't even close the bottle after opening it to preserve it. you psycho..."

a loud crash was suddenly heard from outside.
a voice then called out, "guys, lemme in! please! you have to hurry!"

who could it be?

. . .

[ gonta gokuhara has created a new group chat ]

[ gonta gokuhara has changed the chat title to "The Red Tortoise" ]

[ gonta gokuhara has added 4 people to "The Red Tortoise" ]

gonta gokuhara: 
hello everyone.
i have been doing calculations. firstly, I have looked at the places V3 has struck. Then, I have looked into who V3 has kidnapped. I have compared the personalities of the victims, as well as locations they frequented compared to the locations of each crime.
Based on these calculations, everyone in this group chat is very unlikely to be one of the next victims.
For this reason, I have selected you four to help me in planting the red tortoise.
first of all, Momota, you are here because you aren't a major planner and you tend to stay out of the main group. for these reasons, if V3 were to kidnap you, they likely would not get much information out of you, meaning you are likely to be left alone.
Yonaga, you are here because you tend to avoid the places that the crimes so happened to occur at. This means that, unless V3 would be willing  to change their operations around, you likely won't be a target for a while.
Iruma, Harukawa, you are both here for the same reasons as Momota and Yonaga. You two tend to stray away from the crime scenes, and you also tend to stay out of group discussions.
Can i count on you four to assist me?

kaito momota:
I aint readin allat 💀

gonta gokuhara:
TL;DR, will you please assist me in planting the red tortoise?

miu iruma:
omg yes!! of course!! anything to protect our friends 😊

maki harukawa:
totally!! let's do this

kaito momota:
uhh yea what they said
am i allowed to mute this gc?? the notifs of you guys texting me are making my music app glitch
please im listening to the cure

gonta gokuhara:
request denied.
now, how many of you own laptops or i-pads?

maki harukawa:
I have an old ipad and my laptop for school!!

miu iruma:
i just have my phone and school laptop !😅

kaito momota:
same as miu but i also have a laptop for gaming/music

gonta gokuhara:
Bring them over to my house at 10 o'clock sharp. I have an idea I wish to try.