La Bruit De La Pluie || PG10

|9|I Didn't Want it To Be Like This, I Swear|

"Are you doing what I think you are?" Pierre sniffled, standing up to approach me as I was stood by the wardrobe. "I don't want to, but I can't do this anymore,"

"Maybe we can take a break? You leave the spotlight for a bit, then we can come back," he tried to bargain with me, but I just thought of the aftermath. I could hear people in my head taunting me, screaming at me.

"I love you, Pierre. More than anything else in the world," I said to him, pulling out my suitcase and shoving my clothes and everything else in. I would sort it out later. "Then don't leave me. Please," he begged, trying to yank me away from my suitcase.

Believe me, I didn't want to leave him. It was the last thing I wanted. But, it felt like everywhere I turned, there would be people telling me to kill myself and that I was an awful person. "Leo, just think about this,"

"It's just going to get worse and you need to focus on driving, not my people-problems," I told him, struggling to zip up my over-flowing suitcase. "Your people-problems are also my people problems. Wherever you go, I go. Isn't that how it's supposed to be?"

"Maybe it isn't," I had done it there. I could hear my own heart shattering just from the look on his face. I had hurt him. I had hurt the person who meant the most to me in the world, and it made me feel terrible.

I tried to convince myself that it was for the best, and that hurting him now prevented me from hurting him more in the future. Deep down, I knew I was lying to myself.

"Thank you for everything, Pierre," I said to him, picking up my phone and keys and walking out of our room door. It clicked behind me, and I was sobbing as I walked down the corridor.

All of my limbs screamed at me, urging me to turn around, take him in my arms and say I was being stupid and I wasn't thinking. But I kept on walking. For some reason, I didn't turn around.

I didn't know where to go. It was the early hours of the morning and I didn't know what to do with myself. I thought about who would still be up at this time that I could share a room with before taking the earliest flight possible back to England.

I sat in the hotel lobby and held my phone in my shaking hands. I scrolled through the contacts, selected the one I was looking for and pressed it. I held the phone up to my hear, every ring sounding further and further apart.

"Heya Leo, you alright?" The cheerful Aussie voice chimed through the phone.

"Can I stay at yours for the night? I know it's really late, but I need to crash somewhere," I asked him, trying to sound like I hadn't been crying. "Yeah, course. You're in the same hotel as us. I'm in room 201, come on up," he said.

We said our goodbyes and I took the elevator up to his floor. I couldn't see much, my eyes blurry with tears. I knocked on the door and he let me straight in. "Are you alright? Where's Pierre?" he asked, concern flooding his face.

"He's in our- His room," I said, not wanting to think about him at all.

"Did something happen?" he asked, sitting down next to me and trying to figure out what was wrong by analysing my face. "Yeah, um," I tried to tell him what happened as I was fiddling with my charm bracelet.

I rolled the crystalline baguette in between my fingers, and I spotted the confession of his love along with the date we first met. I felt like I was choking on the air, and Daniel wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"People were saying so much stuff and I just can't take it anymore," I sobbed into his chest.

"OK, OK. What we're going to do, is you're going to go to sleep, and then we'll talk more when you wake up, alright?" he soothed, rubbing my back.