My Boss

24

The party, the alcohol, the dancing, Alex taking me to a room, us kissing then some actor who was... kissing her!

It was all still blurry, I don't remember all the conversations but I remember the pain I felt last night, that I had to drink the whole bar to feel numb.

When I turned my face to Alex, she knows that I remember, my face probably tell.

"Look, I can explain, Cara... I didn't know, Ok? And we're not together, you have to..."

"Where's Claire?" I ignored what she was saying.

"Oh, she has to leave last night, her brother called, he got into an accident and had no choice but to go."

"What? Troy? How is he?" The sudden movement I made just made my head spin and throb.

"Just, stay still. The aspirin probably didn't kick yet." Alex helped me to lean my back against my headboard and made me sip my coffee.

"He's fine, he had a minor injury. She called this morning but you were still sleeping."

I sipped my coffee absorbing what she just said.

"Wait, Why are you here? I mean how? Did you sleep here?" I remember it was Claire who brought me back to my apartment.

Alex let out a soft laugh.

"I followed you guys last night. I... I really wanted to talk to you, Claire lets me in because I was making a scene outside your building and probably... threatened her that I will buzz every apartment in this building till someone reports me."

"You did what?" My voice rose a little but it was a mistake because my head throbs that I had to massage my temple.

"Desperate times, Cara." 

I let out a deep sigh, I just hope she didn't wake anybody in my building last night.

"Cara..." Alex scooted over to my side.

I drank the last of my coffee and handed her my mug which she put down on my nightstand. I was about to lie down but she stopped me.

"Please, can you at least hear me out?" Her voice cracked and suddenly my heart goes to her.

"I was just surprised as you were, we're not together anymore, I mean, we were never together, we were just..."

Fuckbuddy. I thought.

"Anyways, he just acts like we're together whenever we see each other or if we get invited to the same party or gathering. Him showing up at Brian's party, I was not aware of it, I swear! And when he kissed me... I, I froze. I did not expect it, and you were there, and knowing that you were seeing it, I froze. I know I should've stopped it right away but as I said, I froze."

I was contemplating what should I say. I believe her, I could see in her eyes and feel from her voice the sincerity of each word that came from her mouth but still, it pains me.

"Please, Cara. You have to believe me." She took my hands in hers and to my surprise, she brought them to her lips and kissed them multiple times.

"Please. Please." She whispers in between.

My heart melts from her actions. 

My Boss begging me to believe her, explaining herself.

"Alex..."

Alex stopped and searched for my eyes. When I met hers, all I want to do is pull her in and kiss her but I stopped myself. I am still hurting, I believe her but the image of that guy hugging and kissing her can't seem to get out of my head.

"Cara..."

I could feel that she wanted to do the same, her eyes lingering on my lips long enough for me to notice it, subconsciously licking her lower lip just by looking at mine seems to be mouth-watering for her, and her leaning in towards me, is surely her tell that she was thinking of kissing me.

I pulled myself backward. Confusion is written on Alex's face.

"I just... I can't..." I looked down avoiding her eyes.

I heard her sigh. Afraid to see her sad face, I kept my head down.

"Can you uhm... Can you go? I just... I want to be alone, please." 

"Wh-What?" I could hear the pain in her voice but I braced myself and fight all the will not to give in. I think I need time or space from her. And if she's here with me, I cannot think straight. All I can think of is kissing her, running my hands through the softness of her body is what I wanna do. If I let her stay here, I'll just succumb to her.

"Please... Just go."