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6

     Three long years, it's been three long years since the boy has been going through this inner turmoil which was not always there but comes back time to time to make him remember that he's enjoying this happiness on a borrowed time and at any time this house of cards would crumble down and he would be left with nothing.

    Jungkook loves him, he has no doubt in it but the only thing he is scared of is the older one falling out of love. He has seen many such sweet stories turning into nothing but tales of regrets and tears and he was scared that his won't be any different.

    Just because Jungkook is so in love with him doesn't mean he would be the same forever. And how long would the boy defy his parents just to be with him. And what if his parents actually make all the threats they are making from time to time true and actually disowned the ravenette. 

    And would the older stay with him even then? But still why would he even do that? Why would he reject the inheritance and family fortune which rightfully belong to him just for someone who could never give him anything equal to that?

     These were just some of the fears that the brunette has been trying to bury deep down not wanting to think about it and the reason why he is feeling fidgety and nervous about these things was because of the way how the older never let him bring up these issues in their discussions. 

     And whenever Tae tries to be persistent about it, the ravenette would become upset thus making his boyfriend drop the topic.

       But after letting those unwanted thoughts and memories invade his mind these days, more and more fear was creeping into his heart and he was wondering if he made the right decision by accepting Jungkook's confession that day? 

     All the nervous breakdown and gloomy days he has been hiding from the boy was even worthy when at the end he was going to be left with nothing.

    Tae know that he should trust him, and it's not like he wants to doubt everything that he do..but his insecurities are getting the best of him and there are days when he has thought about breaking up with the ravenette because it's as if he is walking on a thin ice, and one wrong step, everything is going to crumble down and he's going to end up with a broken heart which would never be ready to trust or love someone else again.

    Jungkook has never given him a chance to be insecure, but it's just he's being paranoid, that's what he wants to believe. And his insecurities are a kind of injustice to Jungkook because him being insecure means, it's Jungkook incompetency to make him assure right?

     And that's the reason he's keeping his insecurities and fears to himself because he didn't want to upset the boy who has been doing everything in his power to make him happy.

    And Tae has never let himself dwell on this more even though it always remains as a warning voice in the back of his head. And why should he be worried when he knows that Jungkook would never look at someone like he looks at his brunette boyfriend. 

     But it was that hope and faith which crumble down in the day he saw him at that cafe with her, with his sweet bunny smile full on display as he engrossed in a cherry conversation, as if already forgotten that he has a boyfriend waiting for him with longing eyes and a throbbing heart.

     And the photographs he received each day from Jihoon, which only has the same thing repeating, his boyfriend smiling widely at the girl, he didn't know how he should cope with this situation anymore.

     Is Jungkook really happy with her? And is he still staying with Tae only because of not wanting to hurt him, for keeping the promise which he has made to him in the beginning? 

     But what's the point of Jungkook not breaking up with him to not break his heart if it's her he has in his mind. 

     And is it the time he fulfill the promises he made to himself, that he would let the ravenette walk away if he found someone who is more deserving of his love than the brunette..he don't know and he doesn't even want to know.. because whatever is the right thing to do, how much selfish it may make him, he's not ready to let go of the younger.

" Tae are you listening to what I'm saying?"

The question startled him, causing him to snap out of his wrecking thoughts and turn his face towards Hyunjae, their University President.

Heaving out a sigh, he shakes his head. " Sorry, I was just caught up with something.."

The older one looked at him with concern.

 " Are you okay?" he asked softly, not wanting to push the limits. " You have been a bit lost these days. Is everything alright at home?"

Tae looked at him with a frown. 

    Home, yeah home. Which he is going to lose soon if things are going this way. And maybe he already did because the home isn't home anymore when all he could feel is coldness and numbing pain even being in the embrace of the one who made you realize what being in home means.

" Yeah, " he muttered softly, not wanting to share his private life with anyone else even if they are close to him. " I don't know why but I'm feeling a bit tired these days.."

" I can see that", Hyunjae sighed, reaching out to take a file from his table. " And Jungkook is okay with you being like this?"

    There was an alarming shock evident in his words which meant no harm, Tae knew it. But the question only made him more upset because Jungkook has no clue regarding what he is going through right now. And he hasn't noticed any of the changes that's happening with his boyfriend lately.

" What do you want to discuss with me now?" he asked, not bothering to answer the question asked. 

Hyunjae had a stern look on his face when he opened the file and took a form out of it and forwarded it to the brunette.

" Here, you need to fill this up and give it to me and I'll forward it to the management", he said. " If there are any doubts please do ask.."

    Tae didn't reply, he simply took it from him, going through the details before he started to fill the form, an indecisive look plastered on his face and he was still confused and worried even when he handed the form back and headed out of the office to his apartment.

    It was an offer to do an internship at a leading firm in London. It came around two weeks ago and they instantly decided that Taehyung is the one to go for the offer because it was for the top student of the department but despite knowing how much it could mean to him, he rejected the offer without even thinking twice because more than anything else he love his boyfriend and how could he even say yes to an offer which could separate him from his sweet boyfriend for two months when he couldn't even stay away from him for a day. 

   But when the offer again came back to him this morning he didn't refuse this time because things are not the same anymore and this time the offer to him was a sort of escape route. 

    And obviously he doesn't want to let go of an opportunity when he could possibly stay away from the ravenette to clear his head. And maybe to have an idea about what could be his situation when the ravenette finally leaves him.