Her Lullaby

18- Twenty-Three Six

Leaving Carter and I alone.

The silence that stretched between me and Carter was suffocating as every second passes and I feel his eyes on me, begging me to look at him.

Slowly my brown eyes met his hazel ones and the sudden feeling just to touch him and melt into his embrace flooded in my chest making my heart feel as if it was about to burst.

I softly rub my hand over my heart in attempt to soothe the rapidly beating, and when Carter took a step towards me and I took a step back.

I feared if he got too close I'd fall into an episode, I'll get lightheaded, probably faint, and my breath would shorten more than it already has.

At this point it seemed like I was already having an episode, but I couldn't tell if it was my arrhythmia or the effect Carter has on me.

He opened his mouth to say something, but I beat him to it, "I should get back to Brandon, he's probably wondering where I am."

I didn't give him time to respond as I was already walking, scurrying, away from him as quickly and subtle as I could.

I can finally breath.

When I was sure I was far away from where Carter was I leaned back against a wall taking in a deep breath before releasing the air slowly.

When I got myself situated and my heartbeat went back to normal, but the nerves in stomach never gone away.

I walk into the lady's bathroom walking to the mirror my swollen lips parted as I studied the smeared lipstick and the faint prints of red he must've left on my neck.

My fingers grazed my red, swollen lips at their own accord, myself feeling breathless as everyone of my senses started to have flashbacks.

His touch around my waist as his fingers thread through my hair or the way he caressed my jaw and cheek, the touch that caused every breath from my lips. His lips on mine was the sole reason for my shortness of breath and the traces of kisses he made on my neck over my pulse almost made my legs go weak.

My heartbeat in my ears wasn't loud enough to prevent me from hearing his groans of relief against my lips.

The sight of seeing a man so put together become disheveled by my touch made something in me yearn to see him like that all the time.

The smell of his cologne was intoxicating, it subtle but it draws your attention so effortlessly, but the taste of faint alcohol on his tongue was intoxicating. He was intoxicating.

Kissing him was like the scene of a movie where the character is peacefully falling into a pit of nothingness, and the character was in such a state of bliss everything around them was silent and they could only hear the heart that beated in their chest or the blood pumping through their veins.

Kissing Carter was me falling into a blissful pit of nothingness.

My hand snaps back down to my side and I come back to reality when a toilet flushes and a lady with grey pinned up hair and a black and white dress walks out a stall.

I hurriedly grab a towel wiping the smear  lipstick from my lips in a hurry, making sure not to make eye contact with the lady.

I throw away the napkin before walking out of the restroom and back to ball room. I make a beeline towards the table where Brandon sits, only two tables away from Carter.

As I walk to my table I pass Carter and for a split second I thought I felt his fingers grazed my hand, but I couldn't be sure. I never looked.

I place my hand on Brandon's shoulder bringing his attention to me, "I'm kinda ready to go." I smile trying to hide my nerves.