sam and cat/icarly: #idatesamsroomate

carly and freddie go to the hospital

freddie's pov:

freddie: so if i'm gonna take her to the hospital, what are you gonna do?

sam: wash this carly goo off my lips then eat some chicken

carly: it's called lipgloss

sam: i call it goo and i want chicken

carly: i have a broken nose because of you and you're thinking about chicken?

sam: you have a broken nose because you kissed me and my boyfriend. but you better watch it, unless you want something else broken too

carly: okay freddie we should probably go

freddie: yep sounds good

freddie: but if you try to kiss me i'm leaving you there alone

carly's pov:

carly: i'll call a taxi

freddie: i'll calm down the butter monster

carly: butter monster?

freddie: what else am i supposed to call someone who broke your nose with butter

carly: her name-

freddie: well she's calm.. enough

carly: freddie, cabs here

***

at the hospital:

carly: so should we go to the front desk

freddie: yeah i'll be right there, i just gotta tie my shoe

nurse: so what brings you here today?

carly: well we think i have a broken nose. so we came here, is it broken?

nurse: let me check

freddie: i think it is broken

carly: no one cares what a guy thinks

nurse: actually, he's right, it's broken. how'd you break it?

carly: uh a dog did my nose

freddie: yep that's what happened alright

nurse: okay.. let's get you checked into a room so we can bandage that

carly: okay freddie let's go

nurse: here's your room and someone will be with you soon

nurse: hey there's some weirdo with a broken nose that thinks we care about her can you go bandage it so she can leave

doctor: yeah yeah i'll go do it but what's so weird

nurse: she lied and said a dog bit her nose. just say what actually happened

doctor: well sometimes it's too embarrassing and you have to lie. especially if you know sam puckett

carly: oh look, there's the doctor

doctor: before i bandage your nose i have a question

carly and freddie: okay..

doctor: you wouldn't happen to know sam puckett would you? because we know you lied

freddie: well we- GOOD LUCK CARLY *runs away*

carly: we do, she broke my nose with the buttersock

doctor: well that explains a lot

carly: FREDDIE YOU CAN COME BACK NOW

freddie: everything's all good that dude knows what happened

carly: yeah

freddie: oh but i'm sure you didn't say why you did it

carly: should i show him

freddie: no no carly no

carly: freddie don't leave

freddie: wrap her nose so we can leave

doctor: i've been wrapping her nose this whole time

freddie: well are you done yet i'd like to leave

doctor: and done, you're free hopefully your nose heals nicely

carly: well-

freddie: i'll call another cab

***

freddie: sam we're back

carly: yeah funny thing, the doctor who fixed my nose knew we knew you

sam: cool, now is this someone i need to buttersock

freddie: you know it's really not