"Okay, so @devkinandan is my Insta Handle. Let's follow each other."
I texted and deactivated my account. Dating apps are shit, like they mess up so much and you can't do anything. Well, the story begins in mid November where an account, which was on MindR (Which is a GAY DATING APP) and the person using it claimed that I would sleep with random strangers for 500 bucks. Well, if they'd have kept the money good, I'd have not given a shit but Five Hundred?! Like are you even for real. Huuh, anyways. So on this very application, just to know who is this being and to be in the local politics and controversies, I too created an account on the same.
And as I said, dating apps are shit, like dirty shit. So well, it was then, when I met Shiv who texted me first but his texts were genuine. And I usually hated replying to people, but I don't freaking know that why did I reply to Shiv. I mean, I ignored genuine bitches of my own city and this dude is 62 Kms away. Why would I? Yeah, well no answer to that but I did.
So anyways, ooh well-
I forgot to introduce myself, so yeah well, I am Krishna and I am Gay, well I am Non Binary Gender Fluid too. I have dated two guys, where I didn't date, or be friends or get-to-know-each-other with them, I directly jumped in a relationship. And well, two days into this relationship, we were saying ILYs and Can't Live Without You shits. Well, regret. But anyways, I am traumatized. Let me Repeat- I AM TRAUMATIZED and I behave very weird with people. I like being closed, I like speaking but just professionally. Two years back, I was diagnosed with PTSD and the sole reason to decline my own situation is me, myself. I get severe Anxiety Attacks every now and then, I am on pills but they leave me with cramps and I don't know why. I am like a 16-17 people in one being. Yeah, well 16-17 PEOPLE, not personalities. I am out and proud, but I only flirt with Straight guys because I am asexual. I love Chai, and Bihar. So yeah, That's me!
And here, you're reading my story of falling in love for the first time with an amazingly great being, Shiv. Well, he is really Shiv himself. Like If I have to manifest formless divine, I'd see him. Dude, he is the living definition of blissfulness. He is thoughtful and caring, loving and affirming and especially, respectful.
Well, be ready to listen to anecdotes in midst of this because that's how I speak. So, I never got respected until very recently. I was always the one who did stuff and moved on. Mothers, you know. Ooh, many call me that too: A mom. Well, that's for another time. Respect is above anything. And well, my Toxic ex had understood that and whenever he understood he has messed up, he used to come to me and say, I respect your thoughts, whatever you choose, we will continue with that.
Huuh, nevertheless. So, Shiv wasn't like this. He was very respectful and he was genuine. I knew about the toxicity of both my exes and still I chose to date them. Toxicity magnet, they say.
But Shiv was amazing. And I mean, AMAZING. He was a kid honestly. I mean, so am I but due to the consequences of my life, I can't be one. He is one, he acts as one but he isn't immature and even his immaturity falls up to the level of his age. Well, in simple words he isn't a Fox, he is very clever but not cunning. Okay, whatever. But yeah, that's the truth. My exes, and mark it, BOTH OF MY EXES, were very cunning and ridiculous. Well, so am I for Shiv maybe. Not cunning or clever but I feel ridiculous and toxic. I mean, who'd want a mentally fvcked person in their life? And why?
But you know, this world is based on hopes. So am I.
Huuh, today while saying all this, I feel all this. But the point when I met him, I didn't feel anything because, well, I was in a relationship back then. Yess, obviously the toxic one.
And uhh, god damn it, I had a serious regret for crushing on Shiv and for whom? For him, who cheated on me 21 freaking times. Perf*ct!
Anyways, Shiv was like the ray of hope in my life. I mean, I had many moons and stars in my dark night but Shiv, was like a godly ray of Luminance. I mean, he was and still is the sun of my life.
You know, regardless of the fact that he is a kid, he heals me. But huuh, I am getting into too much of future. Let's stop here!
Let's introduce, the eternal and huge ball of bliss, Shiv.
YOU ARE READING
Kashi Katha: The Story from Kashi
Romance'Hey Kid, Hie baby, Hello kiddo,' 'Mommy-Baby goals' and what not? But the question is why? Just to supress the crush which he had on him because he was guilty for the toxic guy he was currently with, loyalty they say. For whom, the one who made him...
