Mine.

Angelina Gonzalez

6th grade was like a blur to me. I went to Rosemary Middle with Veronica and Carlson. My social skills grew a little more since I made more friends like Ellie Thompson, Gianna Ryans, and Caleb Smith. I for some reason remembered their full names but anyways, that really isn't the point. The only point in my life is Xavier Hernandez. I started to form a bigger crush on him, he had this huge glow-up from elementary. He had brown fluffy hair, and light brown eyes, he was about 5'4 while I was 5'0, and he had the most perfect lips ever for me to imagine us kissing every time I got the chance to see him. He had almond-shaped eyes, and his nose was perfect, not too small but not quite big. I just feel more and more in love with him. He was in 4 of my classes, Spanish, Language Arts, Math, and Art. He was fluent in Spanish, so he was the top student. I liked that about him and still do, a determined person who knows what they need, and they get it without trying. In art class, he was one of those class clowns, his jokes weren't fun, but I laughed and tried to be the loudest one laughing so he can see me and notice me. In Language Arts, he was surprisingly quiet. That class was after Art by the way. Maybe he didn't have friends in that class, so I became friends with him, or I think we were friends. I remember one time in that class, we were assigned to be in pairs together. That was the first time, I felt happy, the first time I felt inseparable. We were doing a mini classwork project, and he was good at English, I mean I was too, I speak it, but I had trouble. I had a question, so I asked him, he looks into my eyes but finally up close!! I started stuttering, not this again. He laughed and assumed what I was going to ask. He was right. He knew what I was going to say, he likes me. Or at least that's what I thought. I assume too fast, again, a foolish child I was. After that, we started to connect, surprisingly we connected fast. We first started talking about ourselves. "I'm Xavier, but you can call me X for short." I finally can call him a nickname. X. I said back, "I'm Alannah, it's nice to meet you X." We both laughed. I remember this like it was yesterday. As he would laugh, his smile would come out, it was the cutest thing I've ever come across. He's so cute. We talked until class was over. He has a sister named Taylor, his mom and dad are well-maintained people, he's from Brazil so he's Brazilian, he wanted to be an engineer when he grew up, and that's all I can remember but oh I took notes. After that, we never talked again. When language arts started again the next day, I waved at him, and he gave a weird wave like he didn't even know me. Don't you remember I told you about my dead sister, my family, where I was from, or my birthday? How come? Wasn't it yesterday we were talking to each other? Please remember X. I was thinking I was going insane, I told Veronica, Carlson, and Ellie but why would I go insane if I remember talking to him? I wasn't delusional or crazy, I was just a kid. In the 7th grade, new kids came but one caught my attention. Angelina Gonzalez. She was a pretty one. Long black straight hair already was wearing heavy makeup, her nails were always pink, her eyes were hazel, lips as pink as bubblegum, she was Hispanic, 5'3 already had a tattoo on her ankle. She was the queen bee of 7th grade. I wanted to be her so bad, but I was a black simple little girl. I didn't have a quite taste in fashion yet. Angelina had many friends, I remember. She was friends with Veronica, so Angelina knew I existed, and I knew she existed very well in my eyes. She was the spotlight in a dark room. A girl I was jealous of. I wanted to be just like her. Why couldn't I be like her? She was friends with Xavier. People would ship them in my grade, but I never supported that. Xavier belonged to me, what's happening? I would see them walk together every lunch break we had. Rosemary was an outside school, so it had three buildings within the area and had a walk away for people to walk around the buildings within the school area. I told Veronica about it because I had enough, and I needed her to tell Angelina to back off. The next day happened; I was getting ready for school. As soon as I arrived at school, walking into the building, Angelina saw me and came up to me with her group. "It's happening," I remembered hearing that from behind me. Now I was in the middle of the circle surrounded by them. I look around and see people having their phones out recording. Oh shit. Angelina comes up to my face to the point I had to look up. "Someone told me that you told me to back off from my boyfriend." BOYFRIEND?! They have been dating!? My world was going in circles. I started to form tears. "She's crying already?!" Everyone started laughing. "Had to tell your friend to tell me about your little problems, you should've said that straight to my face yesterday and this would've been settled privately." She says as she smiles. Her smile was a devious looking one. The one that can make your heart skip a beat but, in my case, I liked it. Her friends went closer, the circle was getting more and more claustrophobic for me. Angelina looks at me, I look at her. I smiled. "Hurt me, Angie." I remember saying that while still smiling. I closed my eyes and remembered waking up in a hospital bed. I look around seeing I was injured. Badly. I started laughing but then started to cry. The pain was hurting me like I had got shot 10 times. That pain is still hard to forget. But I let her hurt me for a reason. No man would want a girl that is abusive and a bully to others. They would want a nice kind woman. Not a girl like Angelina, a whore. 2 weeks after I went back to school. To the left and the right, people near the lockers were looking at me in disbelief. Some of them come up to me and started asking me questions, checking up on me. I never thought this would happen. "Alannah are you ok?" "Alannah if you need, I'll do your missing assignments", I didn't really care about that though. I only cared about what was between Angelina and Xavier. Later in the day, the lunch bell has rung. I went outside to meet up with Veronica. We walked around the school until we saw Xavier and Angelina kissing in the corner. I stop in my tracks and stare. My heart was broken. Does he not care that she hurt a poor little girl like me? Why am I the one always getting hurt at the end? I knew I didn't deserve this. I don't deserve this. I stared until Xavier felt my eyes. He looked at me and back at Angelina and started kissing again. The rage in me began to overcome my body, I walked to Angelina and Xavier and grabbed Angelina's head, and smashed her head to the wall as she screams. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7,8,9,10. 10 times. The blood splats on my face as I kept going, Xavier starts to scream and tries to grab me, but he was too weak. The pleasure. Oh, I crave praise and pleasure. Veronica grabs me away. I shake my head and kept walking. I wish that happened, but it didn't. They were continuing to kiss as we walked away. I hate Angelina, I hate Angelina, those words kept repeating as we kept walking. I hate her, why can't I be like her? I need to be her. The 8th grade was my time to shine that year before middle school ends. Angelina and Xavier were still together, I recall. Xavier became finer but unfortunately, Angelina did as well. Her hair was longer, and her makeup skills became better than ever. I changed a bit; my hair was longer, and I finally had style. We had an 8th-grade prom at Equarium's Palace, a rental place to host parties. I remember having a birthday with my sister there. It was nice while it lasted. There were two dress rooms, a woman's and a mens. Angelina surprisingly was in the dressing room getting ready to impress Xavier while I was doing the same. I needed her out my way, why can't she just give up on him? I needed Xavier but how I thought? I look in the mirror while putting my makeup on. My hair was silked press, I was wearing a black sparkly dress with pearls, and the lights were sparkling on my face while applying my concealer. I took my time just for me and Angelina to be alone. At last, everyone but me and her were in the room alone. I looked at her through my mirror, she was directed behind me. She looked at me back in the mirror as well. I smiled at her. I knew I had to do this, I'm glad I did anyway. I start to form my face into a sad expression and turned around. "I'm sorry, Angelina, back in 7th grade, I realized it was stupid of me to even think that about you and Xavier, you guys are really meant to be." Angelina smiles and says, "Oh, thanks Alannah, I'm glad I beat the shit out of you to realize we are soulmates." She's a bitch, of course, she wasn't going to accept my apology, so I had to make her accept it. I got up and walked over to her. She had her brushes and eye curler on her counter with powder all over it. I grabbed her head and finally, I slammed her head against the mirror, the mirror shatters and makes bruises on Angelina's soft skin. She starts to scream but I couldn't let anyone notice. Rage took over me, my heart took over me, and my mind was somewhere else when I needed it to stop me from this, I knew I didn't want this to happen, but it needed to. It was my job to let this happen, I told her to back off, she should've taken that warning and gone off. Her stubbornness took over her, I had to save her from it. As soon she starts screaming, I took the curler and slit her throat. She fell and started to bleed out. I froze. I thought this was a dream or a memory haze. This was real. This was real life. I never killed someone before. I didn't want this to happen, I swear I didn't. Something took over me, a demon did, a demon. I couldn't do anything but looked around for cameras. Cameras not found, good. I look at the back door and ran. I ran until the light showed my skin to the dimmed sky. I got home, I went up the stairs to my room, and started to tear up. I cried and cried and cried until no tears came out of me. This is what my parents think of me, a murderer, and they're right. I am a murderer. I didn't mean to do it. I only wanted Xavier. But I started to realize, I did do something good. Angelina's gone. I'm still here. His soulmate is still here, his distraction is now gone. I started to laugh and laugh and laughed until I ran out of breath. I looked at myself in my standup mirror, staring at myself crawled up in a little ball. "You did well." I said to myself. "I know I did." She says smiling.