Killing Sarai

51

“What about cameras?” I ask.

“There is one in every room except Hamburg’s suite.”

“I suppose there wouldn’t be,” I say. “Can’t imagine one like him foolish enough to record the evidence needed to put him away for life. This works in my favor.”

“Yes,” Niklas agrees. “Whatever you do in that room only those inside will know it.”

“And the maid?”

I mentally jot down all of the information he is giving me.

“The one you should look for is a woman named Manuela. She wears a nametag like all of the staff. Meet her near the Jacuzzi room at precisely eight o’clock. But do not speak to her. She will be working near the towel shelf where the envelope has been hidden. When you make eye contact with her, simply nod once to acknowledge her and she will place a stack of three towels on top of the towels where the envelope can be found. But this cannot be carried out until eight o’clock, so if Hamburg invites the two of you to his room before that, you’ll need to stall him.”

“And nothing that we discussed last night has changed?” I ask.

“No. Everything is to be carried out as planned. Hamburg’s gun is located in the nightstand on the side of the bed nearest the window. There is another gun in an unlocked briefcase on the floor of the closet.”

I let the scene run through my mind for a moment. “This is a first for me,” I say. “And I thought I have seen everything.”

“I agree,” Niklas says. “But it is what it is and it’s no different from any other hit from our perspective.”

He is right about that. Despite the unique circumstances, I have no problem carrying out this job. Sarai, on the other hand, I doubt will be able to stomach it.

“Contact me as soon as the job is complete,” Niklas says. “I would like to get the information back to Vonnegut as soon as possible. Hopefully it will make up for the delays and problems you encountered and created on the mission with Javier and Guzmán.” I hear the faint accusation in his words, but it’s to be expected and I let it go.

“I will do that,” I say.

Before I end the call, Niklas says, “Victor, you know it has to be done. For your sake and even for hers.”

I won’t kill Sarai and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure that no one else in the mansion does, either, but deep down I know that what my brother said is true. I should kill her for my sake and hers. But I can’t. And I won’t.

Sarai

It’s the night of the mission and my adrenaline is already pumping so hard through me that I can’t sit still. After a shower I get dressed after Victor chooses which dress I should wear and once again I’m back to being bra-less.

“I feel naked,” I say looking down at the thin, practically see-through silk dress.

Instinctively, I try to tug the ends of the dress down to cover more skin, disappointed that the effort doesn’t magically make the fabric expand. If I were to bend over just halfway, anyone standing behind me would be able to see everything. Thankfully I’m wearing panties, at least.

Victor stands there, looking at me seemingly lost in his own mind. He appears kind of worried, sad even.

“I’m not backing out of this,” I tell him, getting the feeling that’s what his expression is all about. “I want to do this. Whatever happens to me, it won’t be your fault.”

Maybe it’s a little presumptuous to think he even cares and to insinuate it out loud, but I really think he does in his own small way. And I don’t care much anymore about letting him know how I feel. About everything that has happened between us. About my feelings, although I’m still not sure what they are myself. About his feelings, even though his have always been more guarded than mine.

I step up to him and curl my fingers around the lapel of his suit jacket on each side. Then I push up on my toes and kiss him softly on the lips.

“I can do this,” I say. “Maybe I’m being reckless and I don’t know what I’m getting myself into. No, I take that back. I am being reckless and I know exactly what I’m getting myself into. I’m crazy to go along with it, to want to be a part of it. But you know as well I do that I’m not like everybody else. And even if I had a shot at it, even if I could walk away right now and try to be like everyone else, I don’t want to. I am afraid to die. I can’t say that I’m not. And I don’t want to die, but I’m prepared to.”

For a moment it seems as if Victor is going to say something to me, maybe he’s going to try one more time to change my mind, but instead he turns away from me and grabs his car keys from the nightstand.

“We need to go,” he says and walks to the door of our hotel suite.

I feel disappointed, even a little hurt. I had wanted him to say something to me, anything that would verify in my mind and in my heart that he truly doesn’t want me to go through with this. Maybe deep down I know that I’m going to be killed and that last desperate part of me wants to know before I die that someone cares. That Victor cares. Because he really is the only person in the world that I have.