Not A Temporary Love | Finley & Harlyn #1

Chapter 35

"Of course. You're allowed to be sappy," I assure him. "As long as I am."

"Obviously," he says.

I step closer and wipe another tear off his cheek. "Then I can tell you that somehow you're still cute when you're crying."

"Oh, I am not," he snorts.

"You are," I insist. "You're cute literally all the time. It's kind of annoying."

He scoffs and pulls on my hand so we start walking again. As we wind through campus, he chatters, slightly aimlessly, about how often we'll call and what his summer schedule at work looks like and how he's going to start looking for a new job next week, because he's tired of smelling like fries all the time. I nod along and commit the campus to memory. I let myself think, just for a moment, about being back here next year. Every time the thought has popped up, I've pushed it down. I don't want to get my hopes up. But today, I let that hope fill me. It feels so right. The next two months are going to be hell waiting for the decision to come in.

Elly's just lugging one of Max's suitcases out the door when we get to the house. She wraps me in a hug before I even put my backpack down, and I squeeze her back. Max brings his other suitcase behind her. He swoops in and hugs Elly from behind, his arms only reaching to my biceps. Harlyn, long arms stretching wide, joins, too. And we just stand there. I make myself just be.

"Oh," Harlyn's mom coos from the door. His dad stands behind her, smiling.

We break apart, and there are more hugs and more tears and more "We'll see you soon"s. And then we're walking away again, waving at Harlyn's parents in the doorway. Max wipes at his cheeks, and I sling an arm over his shoulders, our backpacks bumping behind us. Far too soon, we're turning the corner to the bus station and finding our bus to London. We slide our suitcases into the undercarriage. And then it's time. Actually time. The moment I've avoided thinking about for the last two weeks. Last two months, who am I kidding?

Max hugs Elly tightly, and I move in as soon as she lets him go.

Instead of hugging me right away, she takes my face in her hands. "You take care of yourself, yeah?" I nod. "And call me if you need anything. I know you have Harley, but, like, if you get bored of him." I laugh.

"I heard that," Harlyn says over Max's head.

"You were supposed to," Elly says, still staring at me. She winks and pulls me in. "I love you, babes."

"Love you, too, El," I choke into her hair.

Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't I just stay forever? Drag Max back to the Evans house. Go to Amelia's and unpack again. Spend all of my time in Elly's dorm playing Mario Kart. Fall asleep to Harlyn playing with my hair. Why do good things have to end?

Elly lets go of me, and suddenly I'm facing Harlyn, who is very obviously trying not to cry. Or cry more. I take his face in my hands, pressing my forehead to his. And I let myself feel it all. The sadness. The fear. The anxiety. I don't know when I'll see him in person again. I don't know what's waiting for me when I get home. I don't know what I'm doing next year. There's a gnawing, open wound in my stomach, right below my ribs. It feels like it's going to open up and eat me whole.

"I -" I gasp. I'm not sure where that sentence was going to go, so I scramble. "I'll call you. All the time. Like every day. Ok?" He nods, moving both of our heads. "And I'll text you. Whenever I can. Yeah?" He nods again, letting one little sob slip out. I kiss him, hard. "This isn't a fairytale that ends today. This is real," I whisper, clutching his jaw. I need him to believe that.

"I know," he says. And he pulls away, pulls himself together, and pulls me to his chest. It's a quick hug, and then he's pushing me back, and pushing my hair behind my ear one last time. No. Not one last time. He'll do it again. "You should go. But I'll see you later."

"I'll see you soon," I say. He nods, I kiss him again, and then climb the stairs to the bus before I talk myself out of it.

Max and I find a pair of seats. We're on the wrong side of the bus to wave, and I'm kind of glad. I'm afraid I'd run back off the bus if I look at him again. As the bus starts pulling away, Max gasps and whips out his phone.

"What?" I ask. He holds his finger up, and not thirty seconds later, I get a notification in our group chat with Harlyn and Elly.

Max:

We forgot to do the escape room!!!!!!

I can't help the laughter that bubbles out of my mouth.

Max:

We'll just have to do it when we come back.

I stare at Max until he looks up. "We?"

Shrugging, he says, "You never know." I laugh again, watching Elly's line of GIFs come through. A baby laughing. Phoebe and Rachel jumping up and down in excitement. A group of people waving handkerchiefs to a leaving ship.

And then I watch Canterbury blur past me, thinking about when we drove in, overwhelmed by everything all at once. It all just looks familiar now, though I know there are still things I haven't seen, places I haven't experienced. I'll just have to do it all when I come back.