LOST

4.

SH WARNING⚠️
I stared at myself the mirror, my lips were tugged into a small smile and I felt nothing.
I stood there for a moment until I started to feel trapped inside my own body.
I wanted to cry but I couldn't.
I wanted to escape.

I just flushed the toilet and walked out.
"You okay?" Fun Ghoul asked.
"Everything is perfect" I said, I couldn't say what I wanted to say, the pills are messing with my head.
"Y/N?"
"Everything is fine"
I wanted him to shoot me.
I made a mistake of taking the pills.
I wanted to stop smiling.

The next day...

I woke up the next day and found out that the pills had worn off.
"Fun Ghoul" I snapped. "I need to go to the bathroom"
"Yeah yeah" he mumbled. "In a moment"

I was broken, the way I felt was wrong.
I was broken, I couldn't be fixed.
Fun Ghoul untied me and I went to the bathroom.
I pulled my jeans down and took the blade out.
I pressed it against my thigh and cut deep.
The blood pooled out and I whimpered.
I continued cutting and just put toilet paper over the cuts so I wouldn't bleed all over the floor.

I put the blood covered blade back into my pocket and pulled my jeans up.
I flushed the toilet to get rid of the bloody toilet paper and then left the bathroom.
I went back to Fun Ghoul's room and sat down on the chair.
He tied only my hands this time and smiled.

He pressed his gun against my chest and slid onto my lap.
"You are one strange man and I'm gonna keep you for a long time.
I whimpered at the pressure he out on my thighs and just held back my tears as well as I could.
I could feel the blood seeping into my jeans.
He smiled and tapped the gun against my nose.
"Cute and strange"
He moved and I whimpered.
The gun fell from his hand and he stopped.
"Y/N-"
"It hurts" I whispered. "Please stop, it hurts"
He looked down and his a eyes widened. "Great fucking Destroya! What did you do?!"
He got off me and stared at the blood on my thighs. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!!"
I closed my eyes and got the blade out of my pocket.
It made a little *clink* as it hit the concrete floor.

Fun Ghoul grabbed the blade of the ground and the blood dripped onto his fingers.
He just ripped my jeans off and stared at my thighs.
"Oh my god" he put a hand over his mouth and just stared at me in pure horror.
I looked down and I could see him walk out.

I leaned my head back and stared at the ceiling.
"I told you, you stupid fucking child!" I said. "No one is gonna be there for you! You're in this alone"
"You're not in this alone"