Cigar Series I: Cigarettes & Wines

Chapter 20

The desire of feeling him inside me was so intense that every time its tip touches my entrance I want to just push it all in. But I know that it will give so much pain. But I want it... Pilit kong ikiniskis ang sarili sa kanya dahilan para matigil siya sa paglalakad. I bit my lower lip and continued doing it. Humigpit ang yakap niya sa beywang ko.

"I want to do it on my bed..." He whispered bago niya ako iupo sa lavatory counter. Kitang kita ko ang kabuuan ng likod niya sa full-size mirror at ang itsura ko habang nasa gitna ko siya. "But I couldn't wait any longer."

I parted my legs for him as my toes touched the marbled counter top. Umawang ang bibig niya habang tinititigan ako. Sumandal ako sa salamin na nasa likod ko as my fingers touches myself and let him see me more.

"Fuck, baby..." Aniya at walang pasabing hinawakan ang kanya bago 'yon dahan-dahan pinasok sa'kin.

For the combination of pain and pleasure, I can call heaven and hell. He didn't give me any time to unwind. He couldn't take it any longer, and I know I'd summon all the devils just so he could do me, faster and faster, until I got to whatever I wanted to get to right now.

He pushed himself deeper inside me, and I could feel my walls thinning with him. He was big and long, and I could feel him on my side. He didn't give up. Every push, he fills the entirety of me, and every pull, he abandons me like a dead sea.

Dilat na dilat ang mga mata ko sa madilim na kwarto niya. Ang tanging ilaw namin ay ang ilaw sa balkonahe. The silk sheets comfortably lay on my skin and his warm bare skin over me.

Ang isang kamay niya nasa likod ng ulo ko habang ang isa ay nasa tyan ko at hawak hawak ang mga kamay ko at pinaglalaruan ang mga daliri ko. We stayed silent for quite a while now. All I can hear is the loud beating of my heartbeats. Ang kanyang ulo ay nasa pagitan ng leeg at balikat ko. Marahan ang paghalik niya sa balikat ko.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

Ilang beses na niya sinabi 'yon at kahit tanggihan ko ay alam ko pa rin naman sa sarili ko na hindi ko siya kayang balewalain na lang basta basta. I can't just stay quiet and let my brain get exhausted from my unanswered questions. Sa huli, alam kong kakailanganin ko pa rin naman ang paliwanag niya.

I nodded at nanatili ang titig sa puting kurtina na hinahangin. He sighs and continued kissing my shoulder.

We we're both mad and tired. Parehas kaming nasa position na lahat ng bagay ay mabigat para sa amin. Nasa lugar siya kung saan lahat ay kailangan calculated and precise. Isang pagkakamali ay malaking bagay. He's making his name under his father's wing and I know how hard it is for him. Maraming responsibilidad ang dinadala niya.

Kanina, ang gusto ko lang ay sabihin lahat ng nasa utak ko at ilabas ang galit ko sa kanya. Galit ako sa kanya. Galit ako sa kanya dahil hindi niya kinayang tanggihan ang kasal na 'yon. I guess, I was only waiting for him to name me. Para lang alam ko kung saan ako sa buhay niya. Galit akong umalis sa lugar na 'yon dala dala ang tampo para sa kanya at sa pamilya niyang kilalanin ako.

Galit ako dahil nangyari ang isang bagay na hindi ko inaasahan at nasaksihan ang lahat ng 'yon ng hindi man lang ako naging handa para do'n. Nasaktan ako kaya mas ginusto kong umalis. Fighting and screaming to tell everyone who I am is just so desperate and cheap for me. Kaya hindi ko ginawa. Umalis ako at ginustong iwanan siya sa lugar na siya lang din naman ang makakapag ayos.

He's mad at me for not answering his calls and for making him blind to everything that had happened to me. Hindi ko na lang alam at inalam pa kung paano niya at kanino niya nalaman ang mga nangyari sa'kin para malaman na ako na mismo ang humahawak ng kompanya namin dahilan para um-attend siya ng Gala na 'yon.

He used that event to see me and when we got inside his unit and we're both in a heated situation, where we fall in our desire to have each other beneath the silky sheets of his bed.

While the moon is shining brightly within the darkness of the night, I dance with the beautiful beast I have never thought I would love this much. I made love with Luke and let him mark every inch of my body as much as I want to mark him as mine. Only mine.

And after that, I realized that he isn't the beast I thought he was. He's the beautiful rose that I love, too much despite of his prickles and how much pain it gives me.

"Don't ever leave me again, please." Bulong niya bago ko naramdaman ang pag suot ng isang singsing sa daliri ko.

Bumagsak ang mata ko 'ron at laking gulat na makita ang isang diamond ring na naka suot sa'kin. Umawang ang bibig ko at pinagmasdan ng mabuti ang singsing.

"Marry me," Bulong niya, "Marry me, please,"

Iniangat ko ang kamay ko at pinagmasdan 'yon ng mas malapit. The big diamond is in the middle of a big rose with a lot of small diamonds around it until its ring band.

I cried. I cried not because of the pain but because of the happiness and the assurance that I've been asking for. Luke kissed all the tears that had escaped from my eyes down my cheeks as his other hand keep on brushing my cheeks lightly.