Stubborn and the Mutt

twenty five | the call

"Calm down! Calm down." I laugh, picking up my phone and staring at the screen. "I was just thinking for a moment."

"What's so important to think about that you miss what I'm saying?" I hear her whine, and then there's more shuffling.

"I was just think of... you're going to literally roll your eyes at me." I push my laptop to the side and lay on my stomach, placing my phone on my pillow as I turn to glance at my window, out at the green forest.

"Just tell me."

"It's Micah."

"Oh boy... what did he do now?"

"It's not that he did something, but it's also not that he didn't. We just..." I sigh, pressing my cheek against the pillow. "I don't think we're on the same page."

"Were you guys even on the same chapter?" I hear her chuckle.

"That's a good question. But I mean, I think we want different things. He goes on about us being mates, and sure I understand it has different things and desires and needs and whatever else, but I feel like... I'm human. Sad excuse, I know, but I also have my own things and I don't have a goddess stringing that along with us. There's no one telling me to tell my mate that I need this and that. It's just my desire. I fear all he cares about is me as his mate and what that means for him. I don't think he cares about..."

"You?"

"Maybe."

"Is that how you feel?"

"Kind of." I mumble. "I feel like, I don't have that much certainty, and call me blind of whatever, but I feel like I do not have that much certainty about him. Us. He says it's for life, which I'm still trying to comprehend because... what does that even mean? For life? How do I know I am somebody he likes? It could have been anyone, you know? If his goddess decides to change her mind and make somebody else his mate, what would that mean for him? Us? Would he up and leave or would he find it hard to move on?"

"Does he like you for you, or does he like you because you're destined to be with him. That's what I'm hearing."

"That's exactly what I'm thinking. That's my concern. That's it."

"You've spoken to him about it?"

"I have, I have. He said he understood and is willing to do the little stuff, dates and all. I just, and it's stilly... I just feel like maybe he feels like I'm forcing him? Or he's doing it for me, which is good, but what about him? Is he doing it for him too? Does he want to or is he feeling forced to? Do I—"

"I think maybe you're over thinking everything right now, Gert." Andrea lightly giggles softly, and then she clears her throat a bit. "To explain it better, his kind relies on physical contact, there's no negotiating that. That's their way of getting to know each other. I can understand going on dates and stuff because I relate, and I know you, and I know you desire that sort of intimacy that doesn't rely on the physical. I know what you've been through. It's necessary to speak to him about this so that you're both on the same page, but don't think that he doesn't understand or know. It's just instinct and natural for him to do it the way he does."

"Yeah, true. I know."

"Maybe you should ask him on dates if it bothered you so much. Be the one to ask him, if he doesn't ask you. We're in the twenty-first century, things have changed and now, females are the ones asking men out."

I scoff, shaking my head. "I like the idea of being the one who is courted."

"I can bet Micah does, too. So you have nothing to worry about."